the wisdom of 25th years

spent the afternoon today at the 25th wedding anniversary of some friends. before we wait, the guests all held hands and each said something about the couple. when it was the SO's turn, he says something like, "when we're married I hope we're like you." to which everyone gasps. funny, we had told most everyone there previously that we were planning our wedding, yet a public announcement like that sends folks spinning.

subsequently, people ask if there's a proposal or a ring. no, but we're working on that too. one friend said that after she and her husband had been dating for 4 years, she gave him an ultimatum. hmmm...i really don't want to go to that extreme and i don't believe i have to.

we watched as our friends celebrated with various friends many they've had for over 20 years, others only a handful a years. the warmth and love and generosity surrounding them from their friends simply reflected what they had given each other over the quarter of a century. a committment to building a life together.

one woman told a story of how A & H were married (the wife's mother was coming to town and they couldn't be "living in sin"). they went to glide memorial during lunch called a couple of friends to witness then went back to work. the funny part, is that the woman didn't remember that she was actually a witness to their wedding until A reminded her a few years ago.

they have several friends who are newlyweds. they're attracted to A&H like we are, they too want to be like them. A&H show that life is not always up, or fun, or happy, but it does keep going and they take each day they are given because they know that there will be up, fun, and happy times and not just times, but moments as well. and it's these moments that make life worth living.

after singing happy birthday to H, (it was her 50th) we have A&H cut the cake together and do the whole wedding cake ritual since they didn't do it the first time around.

it was a long afternoon, full of friends constantly entering their home, some they hadn't seen in years, but who know it's moments like these one does not miss.

if we didn't end up here at A&H's, we would have ended up spending the weekend with another married couple. a recently married couple who have been together as long as we have, but their marriage is historic, as one of the several thousand same-sex couples who were married at SF City Hall. we'll catch up with them next weekend.

we end up being one of the first guests to arrive and the lasts guests to leave. (we brought the extra chairs, so couldn't leave until the others left). H, though tired, said it was a very excellent day.