head and shoulders

We've been going to a yoga class once a week. Yes, we, the hubby and I. After several weeks o the Wii Fit, it gave the hubby confidence that he would actually do a yoga class. Hell, he does the tree pose better than I can.

The instructor at the club is quite good and knows how to make corrections in people's bodies and gives alternatives for the people who can't do the poses to the entirety. We get there early and often the instructor of the kick boxing class just before it often tries to honestly promote the class, but you can hear the snarkiness in her voice. What can I say? Yoga is slow and most people only know how to go fast.

I've noticed that I still have alot of stiffness in my upper back and shoulders. I can't raise my arms straight above my head. Maybe if someone moved them into position I could hold them there, but otherwise I can't get them there. I always like yoga class as I always feel taller and lighter afterwards.

This past weekend had kali seminar on double weapons, which was quite a workout for the upper back areas, then went to Sunday class where my body told me, that this was enough.

So here I am Monday, resting in bed with the laptop and a hot compress wrapped around my shoulders, hoping to loosen up all the muscles that have gone awol on me. And I thought I was making such progress too! Though I find myself still doing a bit of work, since I can prop myself and the laptop in such a way that I can still rest, which I can't do even in my ergonomic workstation and chair.

I'm hoping this is my one step back to make two steps forward which is a typical habit in my body. But I guess after I heal from this, I should look to strengthen and lengthen.

blog no blog

I keep meaning to put up a blog post, but then never really finish as I've been in waiting mode for a while now.

waiting for my teeth to move into place
waiting to hear about the hiring process at work
waiting for my arm to heal through acupuncture treatments
waiting...

In the meantime, it's not like I'm standing still, there are lots of little things to do resumes, warm herb compresses, group interviews, etc.

In the meantime, lots of time with family in between, hanging out with various co-workers more.

But I'm getting to a point where I can finally see things coming together. And I can see what I need to start planning for what comes next. It's not quite at the excitement of fruition, but it's nice to feel like I'm on the right direction. Sometimes you don't get the things you want right away, sometimes they wait for you. They wait for you to be ready, to receive the gifts life has in store.

on pins and needles

I'll be going twice a week to acupuncture for the next few weeks. I hurt my right arm in kali seminar a couple of months ago and just haven't been able to lift it up like I should, so finally got around to going to acupuncture. I see a good 20% improvement each time I go that lasts a few days, then tapers back. The 2nd treatment, again the arm advanced some more. I decided on treatments twice a week rather than the once a week with herbs.

I opted for acupuncture as opposed to my regular doctor simply because western medicine doesn't really give you much advise on musculoskeletal things. Usually it's a combination of stretching, resting, and aspirin. I tried that for 2 months with not much progress.

While I get stuck on pins and needles, other things in my life are also in the awaiting news that will hopefully be resolved by the end of the month. I'm hoping for good things.

But while I wait, I've become thoroughly addicted to Joss Whedon's completely online show, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog starring Neil Patrick Harris. It's like a blend between the Tick and the Buffy episode, "Once more with feeling". NPH plays a low end villain hoping to get into the big leagues of villainism. He's roommates with "Moist" who is well, moist. His superhero is Captain Hammer who comes off as a big bully. And of course there's a love interest and songs in between. What's not to love?

time to move things around

Spent Saturday driving in traffic for nearly two hours to finally find parking then hike a mile or so to the Berkeley Kite Festival. We had never gone. I had always wanted to go. Though I think if we ever went again, we would stay at the hotel right next to the park. The kite festival was entertaining and fun. We got to watch the Japanese team try to launch a few of their kites and watched as another that was in the air took out another large kite. Those guys are working hard to tame the air. Plus their kites are scary when they come down, built with light wood and paper. I always like watching the choreographed kites that chase each other like an elite squadron.

Walking back we passed by the Takahara Sake tasting. The sake there was decent, but didn't feel anything was fabulous enough to buy a bottle. They even had a raspberry flavored sake, one of their modern mixes. But since we had gone to Hangar One and tasted their real fruit infused vodkas, you could really taste the difference. But the nice part about this place is that it does introduce alot of people to sake.

Sunday went to Kali class in the morning. My arm which I injured last month still isn't up to par but have been working around it. It was quite a workout mixing through numerous weapons: 3 sectional, staff, stick open hand. I'm not sure what it was, but the hits seemed to all hurt more today. At the end my body rebelled with a nice sharp pain between my shoulder blades. Tuhan did some onsite chiropractic moves on my neck. Thus I spent the rest of the day with really great posture because I really couldn't move otherwise. For me this is usually a sign to rearrange something in the house as I'm sensitive to environment changes. The body is telling me there's something that needs to get unstuck.

Anyway, today's energy went into unstucking the thing known as the hubby's closet. I had reorganized my own closet to better reflect what I've been wearing now. The hubby wasn't sure about me touching his closet, but then I showed him mine. We pulled a couple of boxes which I'll bring to the downstairs closet. I then refolded his clothes while he decided which shelves and drawers the clothes would go in. Later we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and picked up some shelving and various other gadgets, like a hanger caddy, and a tie hanger.

I've been reading the book called, "The Influencer". It discusses the ways that influence works and how people are influenced and uses examples like Delancy Street and the Carter Center ridding the world of Guinea worm disease. It breaks down influence into 6 sections: Motivation and Capability on a personal, social and structural level. I might write more about this later, but certainly if you like "the Tipping Point" I would say, "the Influencer" is a good follow up.

Somewhere in my brain there is a significant and tangible relationship between the book, the closet, and the kites. I just don't have time to discuss that at this point.

Tomorrow is a wine tasting at the Ritz-Carlton. Time for bed.

end of the ornery

I've been not just ornery but ARnery the last five days or so, as my body tackled that nasty cold going around along with the braces finding an opportunity to yank my neck and back every which way all in time for the lovely weather weekend. It really is enough to make someone go from ornery to arnery.

I hate being sick. As much as I like sleeping in and relaxing, I hate being sick. Plus my body has a way of delaying sickness in time for the weekend where there are no excuses but be sick. I'm not much for sitting still.

Anyway, I got to Tuesday night and I just didn't want to go to class, still being sick and all, but I went anyway. I teach the class, so I can teach without actively contaminating the students. Being in the agitated state I was in, decided to explore the recent lessons of restriction and repression, how rules, objects, locations, words, both guide us as restriction but sometimes fight against us as repression. When and how does a weapon feel so awkward that you can't do what you want to do, how sometimes you give yourself alot of restrictions to force you in a different direction than you're used to, and how somewhere between being restrained and restricted there's an avenue of wondrous freedom.

It was an interesting exploration of what holds us back and how much weight we give to the context in which we learned something. For instance, all the students started out frustrated since they were stuck with the pair of weapons I asked them to use and really only learned a couple of really basic techniques to use them that didn't really work in a fighting situation. Then I gave them a different technique to use, but a technique they were used to doing in another context at another distance. This too was difficult for them to get their bodies to do and it took a while for them to adjust, but once one of them did he said the things that he thought held him back disappeared. They didn't matter.

I can see how sometimes being in the mode of studying can be the greatest restriction. When studying something we create in our minds alot of parameters about the way something should be done in order to create a repeatable event. The parameters let us study the affect of a certain trait, say speed or force. We do a form or repeat a technique over and over, changing speed, observing what happens. But to jump from this, the technique to actually using it and applying it, the parameters we set up for ourselves to execute the technique become a hindrance. In our minds we think the same rules should apply but they don't.

I came out of class lighter, the pain in my neck from my body resisting the adjustments had gone away, I had a surge of energy that I hadn't felt in a week. There is so much more to learn!

feeling the green

It took me a while, but I finally found some pot holders that can hang from our balcony railing. This weekend I think I'll spend alot of time getting the balcony back in shape. Part of having the living room so out of order is that we ended up blocking access to the balcony or didn't even want to go outside, and so neglected the plants.

A few of them are still duking it out. I'm sure the spider plants will come back to life and the fern just keeps on keepin' on. The jade plants seem to be better off when you ignore them. And I'm sure the aloe plants will be forgiving.

In any case, I'm much happier that the plants are off the ground as it was difficult to keep the balcony clean with all the pots on the deck. I think I'll get rid of the big deck pot after my failed attempts to grow a mini-tree. I just don't get enough sunlight on the deck for that sort of thing.

As much as I neglected the balcony plants I am excited to try to revive them because now I feel like I have the energy to do so. It's a time to expand again.

Easter this weekend and vernal equinox yesterday it really is a time of planting and eggs. While the new years had us think about our intentions, this is the time to set our intentions forth, to go from thought to action, intellectual to physical. Not enough to simply say what we want, but we have to do what we want and hopefully by fall we will be able to reap what we sow.

opening up

Things are opening up. A couple of our organizing projects at home are really making a difference. And a few places I've been stuck with are loosening up as well. Even as the weather mixes from warm to cold to warm again, there's something about that dynamic weather energy that really gets me moving.

And while I've been getting rid of stuff I've also been bringing new usable stuff in.

One of the favorite things I bought was the Magic Ball Mop Holder. I bought two of them and they work great! I am usually skeptical of the "As Seen on TV" stuff, but this one actually does what it says it does. I put one in the office to display and store all the staffs, spears, and walking sticks and another in the closet for brooms and such. We had gathered quite a collection of sticks that we just kept leaning against the wall somewhere. They would eventually topple over whenever we closed the front door since we often leaned them against that wall.

The other "Love It" buy was the Zojirushi Electric Hot Water Dispenser. A few weeks ago I started noticing that the hubby was microwaving every hour or so. Eventually I asked him what he was doing because he wasn't heating food up. He said that he's been drinking warm water at night so he doesn't get into these dry hacking coughs. Hot water dispensers are just one of those Asian household appliances that you get after rice cooker and rice dispenser. Ok so I don't have the rice dispenser (yet). Fortunately for us, I had come across a $75 Amazon gift certificate so that cut the bill quite a bit. We got a fairly fancy one that electronically dispenses, but also has three different heat settings, auto shut off and a timer. I have to admit, it makes me drink more tea. So this has been a boon on the health side as when the hubby drinks more water, he drinks alot less soda, and an increase on the tea drinking.

The last thing we bought recently, again with the theme of new and effective was an ottoman for the living room. This 2 in 1 was great! I put one aside to put my feet up while watching television and the other we used as an end table for the sofa. I flipped the top over to get the food tray top and stored the throw blanket inside. I had been wanting an ottoman for a while, but hadn't seen anything that fit with our current decor. The faux black leather goes with just about everything and I love the extra storage. After a morning of kali seminar and an afternoon at a christening, I propped my legs up on it and I can't believe why I didn't buy one sooner. My feet are quite grateful. Plus since they are more on the sturdy and square side, they can be used as extra seating (if/when we actually have guests.

And in actuality that is the goal. The hubby has been getting massages at work since they are subsidized as one of their perks. He actually found someone who could massage him without him getting super ticklish. He came up with the idea that maybe we should have him come over for a couple of hours and do a table massage at home. This is quite odd for the hubby to say since he usually felt like our place should be in proper order before people should be let in and I usually don't care if it's people we know. But I argued his side for a change and said we should really get our place respectable looking for guests. Thus the quest to reorganize the living room because when it's done, we get to finally invite the massage guy over. I am indeed a fiend for massages. Is there really a reason to refuse a massage? Anyway, this has proved to be wonderful inspiration for getting organized.

Noe Tio, graphic artist and drummer of Bagong Lumad

Noe Tio, former drummer of numerous groups including Joey Ayala at ang Bagong Lumad and graphic artist who brought his artwork to numerous album covers, t shirts and prints, passed away Feb 11.

His designs brought an indigenous sensibility to a modern era. His tshirts that depicted indigenous tribal scenes were drawn with a sense of joy, often of a celebration with music. They were completely different from the stern and serious look of what many Fil-Ams understood of Mindanao music and dance from PCN.

The following is a letter from Joey Ayala with information on how you can donate to Noe's family.


Mga Kaibigan,

If you have ever listened to the recordings or seen the performances of Joey Ayala at ang Bagong Lumad, or have worn tee shirts with woodcut-like designs of animals, indigenous art, and neo-ethnic takes on the UP logo, then you have been touched by Noe Tio, Bagong Lumad drummer and graphic artist.

Throughout the Philippines his influence on pop culture, albeit unsigned in most cases, has been felt. Note the proliferation of indigenous visual motifs and percussion-playing since we started producing recordings and prints in the mid-80s.

Noe is gone now, he crossed the bridge about 2:30 a.m., February 11, 2008 after suffering a massive stroke in Baguio, in the early morning of February 10. He was 46 years old.

His remains are at La Funeraria Paz, 79 Naguilian Rd., Baguio City (Feb. 12 to 16). He will be laid to rest at Heaven's Garden, Cuderao Rd, Loakan Airport (Feb. 17).

He is survived by his partner, Pearly dela Peña, and two sons: Bandoy (5) and Christian (3).

If you’d like to give back some of the creative energy that Noe channeled into our collective consciousness via his work and passion, please don’t hesitate to send your donations to:

Joey Ayala, SA # 3376 0414 39
BPI Visayas Avenue Branch

I’ll see to it that your kindness gets to the family, primarily for Noe’s kids’ education. Who knows. One or both of them may enrich our lives in one way or another, just as their father did.

Noe has returned to the light, long live Noe!

Peace,

Joey Ayala

P.S. We're also struggling with some 200k worth of medical and funereal expenses so, be generous! It'll all come back tenfold - that's cosmic accounting.

Waitfulness or This morning's dream was strange too

This morning's dream was strange too, though I have promptly forgotten what it was. I'm not much into interpreting dreams obviously. Mostly because if it's really that important that my conscious self should know there are plenty of other very conscious omens, signs, feelings, coincidences, or people just straight up telling me to my face what I need to know. In fact, I think I get way more than my fair share, but the spirit world is neither fair nor allows you to share your ability to see these things.

I do remember once crying in a dream and then waking up quite spiritually fresh. I only remember that one because it was such a surprising unconscious dream symbol to conscious feeling.

Oh well. Energy wise feeling like I could leap out of bed, then after I did, my body reminded me that I shouldn't be leaping so high nor so fast yet. So while my mind and spiritual energy as it were wanted to get up and go, for the sake of my body I needed to consciously slow down.

I've been feeling really really hungry, but then I can only eat two tacos. I felt like I could speed walk past a group of students, but had to tell myself to trudge along behind the pack. That my exterior sometimes does not have to always reveal the speed of my interior self. Oh but when they are in alignment, I can imagine how fast I could go! And even then I would probably be better off slowing down and waiting.

feeling good

Tuhan taught a kali seminar on Saturday on staff. It was a fun time!

The higher up in rank and skill level I go, the more I find myself sparring at seminar, which I enjoy. I don't get a chance to always push myself during my regular class. And I find seminar a nice time for me to relax, if going against 3 guys with a weapon you haven't played with in a while is your idea of relaxing. hehe

When the Kali is good, it is golden. It's just about the easiest thing you feel your body do. Almost like a free fall. When you are where you need to be and your timing is on, it's as if time slows down. There is a time and a space for everything. The lucidity too is amazing. I don't know how I knew he was going to be there, but I was there when he was. And there and there and there.

A couple of guys videotaped the class and I'm hoping to check out the footage to see how I've changed. The last video of myself on youtube is from 5 years ago. Alot of people like the video, but it's rather slow and I can tell I'm not as strong nor as exacting as I think I am now.

a time of fruition

Alot of things that have been going on at work in particular that are pushing me to the forefront to take a leadership role in the group. I'm getting used to slipping into the roles and challenges. And deep down it's a role that I actually enjoy playing and that I've naturally gravitated to.

And yet, there was a part of me that flashed back to old fears. The last time I remember feeling this way was when someone first asked me after I had been promoted to Gura if I would teach them, if I would start a class. No, no, no, I said, I have plans, I was going to move across the country and I don't know do something. But door after door closed in that direction and the one door left was the road to teaching kali. I'm not crazy enough to ignore the messages, especially one so drawn out in large letters. But I still had my doubts of being ready, of being good enough even though everyone around me thought it was a natural step.

I had similar fears about this too. No, no, no, I'm not supposed to be focused on this, I'm supposed to be focused on other things. But what can you do? I always told myself that when opportunities arise so big and so obvious that I would always make sure to take them despite myself. I already know what my life is like now and what it would be if I don't take the opportunity, but oh what will my life be like when I do take the risk. I may hem and haw about taking a leap of faith, but I'm often the one to close my eyes and make the jump.

I chatted online with a friend and she puts it bluntly, "We're women. We can handle it. We do it all the time!" And then I remember and my fears go away. Sometimes I just forget that well, this is what women do. And it all doesn't seem so huge anymore.

There's a difference between planning for the future and controlling the future. The latter is impossible to do as there are timelines and arcs and just plain luck that you're just not aware of. That you can plan for the future, but at the same time things happen when they happen and you just deal with it and roll with it when it happens.

And I really have to remember, that life is good and these things that are happening are good, so why not accept goodness into one's life. And you can't be afraid to step up and claim that.

technotrash

We often took trips to Alameda County Computer Recycling Center to get rid of various computer and video equipment. Before they used to charge a small fee, now they have funding from the electronic recycling act so now you have no more excuses on holding onto your old computer because you don't know how to keep it from the landfill.

However, what we were left with were boxes of VHS tapes. A few were personal memories but alot of them were just tapes of shows before there was tivo. And we have boxes of old zip and floppy disks as well. What to do with that? Fortunately, there's Green Disk's Technotrash cans.

If you have 20lbs worth of stuff you can ship them the box yourself and pay a small processing fee. Or you can order one of their Technotrash cans (35lbs and 70lbs). You can toss in a whole bunch of stuff with your shipping fee already paid for. They ensure that your data will be sufficiently destroyed and what can be recycled will be recycled.

end of a cycle

I just realized that this is the year of the boar, the last sign of the chinese zodiac. I had almost forgotten.

While each year is always a transition the one that ends and begins the twelve year cycle is a bigger one. To close out not just a year but a twelve year cycle. Long enough to know you have aged. Long enough to see an entire phase of one's life pass.

I'm also getting emails from various friends discussing the decisions they are making at this time: major shifts to where their careers are, their family life, their location of living.

Reading Leny's Cannibal dreams, this winter does feel darker, heavier than previous ones. It may be just me. It's darker, deeper. But not in an evil doom and gloom way. More like the darkness of the sea bed floor, the pressure of the water yet teeming with life.

I am no different with some major shifts already upon me. I can almost hear the pitter pat of the rat year feet coming. Soon, he comes. Be ready. Time to prepare.

making space

The glacial body adjustments caused by my braces has now made its way to the middle of my back and the lower ribs. It's like having that stiff muscle that you just can't stretch out. Not too painful but dreadfully annoying. Yet, I am learning about the multiple muscle layers that make up the core that I remember coloring in anatomy class. If I had known it was going to be like this, I might not have gotten braces, but while I'm here I might as well make it a good thing.

As my body creates space, I've started making space in my physical surroundings which includes consolidating to a smaller storage locker, rearranging closets, and creating enough space in the bedroom floor so I can do my morning and evening yoga. I'm hoping in creating space externally, will help with my body creating space internally. And while I mostly talk of the physical layers here, there are spiritual and philosophical layers to this I don't discuss in this forum. But in the end, as bothersome as these physical things are, they represent significant changes that I hope will bring about greater things in my life. Sometimes you have to get things in order, before you can go anywhere.

In our last class, Tuhan mentioned the book, The Tipping Point. The main example of the idea is that it's the little things that can turn a neighborhood around: removing the graffiti, weeding and mowing the lawn, picking up the garbage, stopping the petty crimes. But that you have to be consistent and immediate in your reaction to these small things. But this idea works with alot of other things in our lives that we are hoping to change.

So creating space in the bedroom is the start of a personal experiment to take care of the little things in that room and see how it expands. I know the body and mind will resist, thus the aches and stiffness this past week. The clutter attracts one kind of energy, the openness attracts another for good or for bad.

there are times

There are moments in which I fear the emptiness in my life. But there are days like today where I remember to cherish what is already given to me and the way in which it is given. There is time. There has always been time.

the power of glacial movement

As the braces continue to change the structure of my face and eventually the structure of my body, I find myself waking up each day to what feels like a different world as the body is constantly shifting, then shifting again.

I have experienced these kinds of changes in my body before, but nothing at this speed, continuity, and amount. I sit in Kali class this morning and the concepts brought up today, explain alot about the levels of pain I've been experiencing.

There is the wire that pulls on the teeth that pulls on the muscles. The first reaction of the body is to pull back, creating a tension that cascades throughout the body, a conflict in the body that my body doesn't want to change.

After a day or so, the body relents and then adjusts, but now the mind has not caught up with where the body is. There are new sensations, sensitivities. The mind now creates a tension by resisting the new sensations, the new way the body moves. Another conflict, a point of confusion.

In the meantime, all the adjustments makes me fatigued with the mind and body seemingly always on, always sensing. Sometimes the new motions make me afraid that I might pull something again as the movement doesn't flow as smoothly. The body and mind innately are afraid of change. Evolutionarily speaking, we like status quo if it means our basic needs are met.

Each day there are muscles and part of my body I wasn't aware of. Sections that connect in ways I didn't realize.

To deal with the fear, with the conflict, I find myself constantly reminding myself to relax, to not allow the fear to create more tension, more pain, but to try to accept more and more the changes that are happening. And at the same time to try to expand my capacity to take on the new experiences, so they don't feel as earth shattering, so I learn not to fight.

In the interview at KPFA, they asked me why I would train in something that seems so violent. And I would say now, is in learning how to fight, one also learns when not to fight and learning not to fight is a much much harder lesson due to the stubborness of the body and mind. My body feels pain because there is a conflict with what I know and what really is. To reliave this pain, I have to remove the conflict, find ways to adjust the body and the mind to take away the conflict. I have to change.

I don't think my orthodontist warned me that this would happen, but when I decided to get the braces I kind of knew it would. And I jumped in knowing that there would be big changes I needed to make. As I told one of my students, it'a a good bad thing.

Today there was a technique in which to do well you can't muscle through it. I found that because of the weakness in my back and shoulders I wasn't going to muscle it anyway and it allowed me to adjust more readily. Though I was still afraid to move faster. I believe it's just a matter of time before the body regains its strength in these new ways.

And I have to be careful of being too careful. I can't let my mind believe that there is pain when there is none simply because while I'm "injured" there is pain, that as I get stronger, the pain does not remain. I'm not sure if that made any sense. But it's like experiencing putting your hand on a hot burner. At first, the skin while injured is quite sensitive to touch. And the mind and body program if I touch the burner, there will be pain. And now my body reacts to even a cold burner with a perceived pain. This is what I have to be careful to avoid.

I could feel this today even standing still. There was no pain in the body, but my mind was fatigued from being in this new position, and so I felt pain. So I had to stop and try to move the mind away from the pain, to reduce my reaction.

This is the glacial movement of the body. Adjust, change, conflict, resolution. Different stages in different parts of my body.

The great irony of course is that I asked for this. I wanted these lessons because I told the universe I wanted to go somewhere and to go there, I needed to change. And well, the universe answered.

The other day at a party I saw many of my sister's friends, many of whom hadn't seen me in a long while. And of course they asked, "What have you been up to?' And I could have said a myriad of things, but in my mind I kept thinking, well, lately, I'm just standing still. And if I was younger I would think that answer would frustrate me because I would have thought that standing still was the death sentence. But there are many many things to learn from the things we cannot see moving because there is a motion to all things living whether we can percieve them or not. A 50+ year marriage. A baby sleeping. The glacier carving the mountain. The still lake. A cloudless sky. A tree.

The universe via my body

The universe via my body is telling me:

-I should stand taller
-I need to stay focused on the path ahead of me
-I shouldn't sleep for more than 2 nights without my buckwheat pillow
-I should stay put and not move
-I'm stubborn as all hell and I really should stop fighting the universe

cold burns as much as heat when you are numb

Hot compresses for the shoulders, and now cold compresses for the face. Actually, sounds like a day after a rough day at Kali! But it's not.

I got 4 teeth extracted for my future orthodontics work. And 10 hours after beginning the procedure, I'm still numb, a little bit, down in the chin. Though a tingling sensation is finally working its way through. The procedure tended to be a good thing as one of the teeth was already infected, a tooth I've had trouble with for some time. It would have eventually affected my sinuses as well. And in the long run if I don't have these things done now, 20 years from now I'll be looking at gum surgery, or even possible higher rates of heart disease and diabetes. The mouth, the feng shui door to your body.

A friend asked me if it would change the profile of my face. My orthodontist didn't think so, but I think it'll change alot more things in my life than my smile. It'll hopefully make it easier to maintain dental hygiene, and it has already change where my tongue lies in my mouth, as one of the teeth used to jut inward, I can already feel more room on one side. It may even change the way I talk, but I'm only guessing.

Since one of the roots of the teeth were really close to the sinuses, I'm not allowed to sneeze for the next 3 weeks. Good thing I don't have allergies and when I do sneeze I need to do so with my mouth open as to reduce the pressure in the holes in my head.

A bonus for today is that I have no neck pain or stiffness today (though that could simply be the tylenol talking). I have another acupuncture appointment tomorrow afternoon. She mentioned that I would feel good for a few days after the treatment, but that there tends to be relapse several days later.

Along with removing overcrowding and blockages in my body, I've been working on clearing overcrowding and blockages outside of my body as well, which includes using the new appliance more often. Things often go hand in hand that way.

I'm also back to a liquid diet for a couple of days. Downing Ensure in it's various flavors. But I am allowed to drink milkshakes and eat ice cream but am not allowed to drink through a straw.

The braces will come on in a couple more weeks after I let my body heal from all this trauma I've brought it.

[It seems like I've been blogging alot on this topic. I actually have been writing about other topics, more specifically about what it means to be a man and how this relates to the Virginia Tech shooting, but more often than not, the blogger interface would lock up just before I posted or just as I click publish. I'll take that as a sign that those words aren't ready for public consumption yet.]

eu de chinese herbs

Well, I've replaced trying out the Fragonard perfume sampler with a boiled bundle of Chinese herbs, which kind of smells like sweet tea. The acupuncture treatment went well. I'm not that squeamish around needles. She said it would feel like a mosquito bite, which as the sweet blooded American, that was something I was used to too.

I had a friend who does pressure points work on me before the appointment which was good because he was able to remove several layers of stiffness, so by the time I got to the acupuncturist there was just a lingering deeper stiffness.

She took my pulse on both sides which lies fairly deep in my wrists. Then my blood pressure, then she looked at my tongue. I lay facedown while she put 25 needles in various places in my shoulders, ankles, knees, hands and ear then tried to keep from moving for 40 minutes or so. It's kind of interesting. If I moved the energy around my body I can actually feel the needles from the inside, but I couldn't quite find the ones in my hands or knees.

We measured my neck rotation range before and after and it looks like there was some progress between the two times. So I scheduled three more appointments in the next couple of weeks. She also gave me a hot compress of Chinese herbs to boil and use externally. Since we're in the midst of planning for a family, she decided not to give me anything internal.

She also tried a couple of needles on the top of my fists that she turned while I moved my neck around which also helped some.

My coworker was like, "you're just falling apart!" Well, that's fine, sometimes you have to take yourself apart. Let's just hope I put myself back together better than before.

it's like

It's like I might as well have a rod in my spine but with electrical volts if I turn the wrong way. The past few days my neck has been getting stiffer and stiffer. I know I pulled something sleeping when we were in Spain but now that I'm back to work, my body decided to let me know that I was back to work.

If I sit in perfect straight posture, no pain. Lean on a stack of pillows, same thing. It's just all the positions in between, like turning my head that will send piercing bolts through. Hmmm...which probably means that although much of my back is tight, I'd put money on a nice tiny spine muscle creating the chain effect. Boy those tiny muscles don't complain at all, but when they do, they sure are LOUD!

My sister is asking her accupuncturist if I can trade in for her spot on Tuesday afternoon. I've never been to a treatment before, but my sister swears by her. Plus I'm willing to go because unlike the first time around I don't think I could last a month with this going on.

This pain feels similar to the same one I had at the beginning of the year that healed a few weeks before Europe, except that this is a few vertebrate higher which is limiting my arm movement and definitely making me move rather slowly when turning my head to look at something.

There's such a fine fine balance of the spine that I've been learning to feel out. I've been learning to move smaller trying to find that sweet spot where the weight is evening distributed and the body can relax, until I move again.

After the party, we went home, I took an extra strength tylenol and laid down for several hours. There's still some stiffness in the more surface muscles of my neck and stiffness in the extreme turning, but I've gotten some movement back. And you know it's bad when I'm taking tylenol, which I hardly ever take unless it's really really really bad (and even then).

So while I looked forward to perhaps picking up the pace of life, the universe or my body which is my physical universe has reminded me to slow down and take it easy. And oh yes, to quit slouching too.