quiet, sleep, and mangos with bite marks

The SO's sister and family left on Sunday. After they left, we took a nap. It was certainly fun having them here, creating a constant bustle from morning til night. But, it also wore us out a bit, a fun kind of fatigue. I can hear the bells in my fountain now that the 3 year old isn't making attempts to snatch them out of the water and I get a couple more hours of sleep.

I've come to realize why it's necessary for a "village" to raise a child, because two parents just aren't enough. From my calculations, you need at least four. A child just wears down two parents, but by the time the kid gets to the third and fourth adult (whether they be the babysitter or grandparents or aunts/uncles), the kid knows it's got boundaries to stay behind. A friend of mine read that a kid needs the nuclear family, extended family, and community family to develop good relationships with each to be well balanced.

On Saturday, we all went to my aunt's housewarming. It was a crazier party than most since they also invited people from work and their neighbors. We were waiting to see how the 3 year old would react to the other kids and vice versa (particularly the 2 year old with a tiger claw grab). The SO's niece or pamangkin did quite well. She tried to pet and kiss the kids younger than her. Though she doesn't quite have the fine touch of stroking so every hand movement is a smack. Apparently, she shows affection to their cat in this way as well. Good to see she has the instinct to care for the kids smaller than her.

She did become infatuated with a little 2 year old boy in overalls, who would run in terror behind her mother as the pamangkin approached. His mother said that usually he's the aggressor. Pamangkin tried grapping at his overalls, snatched his bottle. Though we're not sure now whether she liked him or simply liked his styling Osh Kosh overalls, which she wears often at the babysitters.

The family was quite surprised to see me holding and disciplining this new small child. You can see in their eyes imagining me soon with one of my own. My cousin asks, "who's kid is that? yours?" To which I replied, "yeah. I've been hiding her for 3 years."

The pamangkin enjoyed running around the backyard and up and down the steps. Everyone thought she was just so cute. She would come up to just about anyone with food and stare at their plate then at them. She always got them to give her food. Thus the throwing up episode later in the evening. What's the phrase, "takaw mata"? When your eyes get greedy for food?

I attempted several times to give the pamangkin a nap, but she wasn't used to the constant din of noise surrounding her and just couldn't rest. Kids growing up in my family learn to sleep through anything and just about anywhere.

At one point, my uncle played the "Ocho, Ocho" song to which the 2 year old and another 3 year old niece bounced their bodies to. When you really look at that song, there's a lot of sexual implications in the song and the dance movement, and the words don't make any sense, but it's perversely funny when toddlers dance to it. Go figure.

The SO chased the pamangkin around for most of the evening, up and down the flight of steps, yanking her away from the smaller kids before she showed them her slightly violent affection. My cousin's told him that his hair was turning white.

Though the pamangkin doesn't talk much, she seemed to talk more at the party. Calling for her mama, and dada and even replying to the question, "How old are you?" with a "tre" which sounded like three. Show off.

Around 10pm, it seemed like all the little kids had hit their over the edge beyond their bedtime adrenalin rush. They were all going nuts, zipping back and forth, grabbing at anything that was still in reach, up and down the stairs, then bumping their heads or falling which lead them to fits of screaming. Despite the 20 to 1 adult to kid ratio, it felt like we were being inundated with kids.

At about 10:30 we left, as did the other kiddie families. Besides, it was past Uncle's bedtime. As soon as we put pamangkin in the carseat, she was out to dreamland. And by the time we got home and put her to bed, so was Uncle.

When they packed the SUV to go home, it took us about 5 shopping carts full of stuff to get it all loaded: clothes, blankets, pillows, food, etc. AND they STILL forgot the pamangkin's chair and tray table. Tigger now sits in the chair keeping it warm til their next visit.

It's quiet here now. I'm sure the neighbors to the side are glad there is no more screaming during bath time and toothbrush time. I'm sure the neighbors below are glad there are no more tiny stomping feet and the thud of every little thing that the pamangkin would through to the ground. My refridgerator has a few mangos with her bite marks in them. She liked to steal mangos from the box and take a bite out of them. She's a true Pinay, likes to suck on the mango bone.

In many ways their visit reaffirmed my desire to have kids of my own one day. It's a life I could see myself leading. The SO's not sure if he'll survive. I think the responsibility of it all scares him. Though I think that when it's time, he'll realize it's not about him anymore and he'll have to put aside his fears to simply do what he has to do, because if he doesn't, who will? He asks his sister how she does it. She looks at him as if not understanding the question. You can see Yoda's advice as she prepares the bottles of milk and juice for the day. "Do or do not, there is no try." I'm sure he'll discover aspects about himself he never realized. I'm sure he'll do fine.