Sunday, October 03, 2004


In these first three days of October, there is a tangible tension. We've gotten honked at for not turning corners fast enough (we're talking hold the horn honking for several seconds). They've raced past us crossing double yellows facing oncoming traffic just to show us their disdain. Is it really worth risking your life? The television is filled with polls trying to get us to choose one way or another, filled with voters who are "undecided." At a birthday party, I ran into an acquaintance and we talked about a mutual friend who had lost most of his relationships after joining this "cultish" group and demanding everyone else join too. Part of me wants to adjust my tv so it becomes black and white. There is a tug of war, this tension brewing, a choice of two things and a demand to choose.

I was 6 when Mount St. Helen's exploded the last time. My dad travelled often to Seattle for his job. I was fascinated by the mountain. I remember the images of half the mountain being blown away by a wall of ash. I watch the news for Mount St. Helen's news. I wonder if we are all feeling this tension from the mountain, or maybe the mountain is feeding from the ongoing tensions of the world and wanting to let off some steam. Are we reacting to the earth, or is it reacting to us? But this is the feeling, this unsettled tension I keep feeling repeatedly.

Like we all would like to explode. Tired of the polls, tired of waiting for something to happen, tired of waiting for the green light to turn, tired of waiting for the war to end. There is a collective grating of nerves.

From an sfgate article: "With volcanoes, it is nature's way: vent, explode, rest, rebuild and then explode again."

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