Your training is complete, young Skywalker.

The fiance said that he had studied most of his life the things that "women want": perfume, jewelry, design and dress, but then ends up with me, who for the most part have rarely focused on such things. However, this past year it's been my area of exploration: trying on Chanel perfume, changing my wardrobe, and finally the jewelry and specifically earings.

My Filipino mother dutifully pierced her daughter's ears at an age they cannot remember. I was three. Though I didn't know any better, at night while I was sleeping I would scratch at the back of my ears and remove the backing of the earrings. My older sister spent several mornings searching the bedsheets for the earrings, which was like a needle in a haystack. In the end, my mother gave up and let the holes closed. Of course, nowadays, they have special lockback earrings that prevent this.

Not wearing earrings wasn't really an issue for me since I played a lot of basketball which required you to remove all your jewelry before a game. I didn't wear any other jewelry so I didn't have a need to accessorize.

A year ago, when I was performing for Palabuniyan Kulintang Ensemble, we had to dress up and put on earrings for the show. Because I didn't have holes in my ears, a fellow member lent me a pair of clip-ons. By the end of the day, my earlobes throbbed so much I could barely see. Imagine someone pinching your ear for 5 hours! I thought, there had to be a better way. And I also thought, I am not suffering through my wedding day wearing clip-ons.

Years of Kali training has fine tuned my pain assessment skills. I might take a hit if it means I can land a greater hit to the other person. So, I considered clip-ons which were hours of torture vs. pierced ears which were maybe a few moments of pain. No brainer, pierce my ears! My mother, when I told her I got my ears pierced, said exasperately, "Finally!"

My friends over the years often gave me earrings presuming that as a Filipina, I of course have been wearing earrings since before I could remember. Rather than say I can't wear earrings and explain half my life story of why I never got my ears pierced, I would usually just accept the gesture.

A few days prior to my 30th birthday, I walked into a Berkeley piercing parlor and asked to have my ears pierced. They sent me to a display case asking me what gauge of hole I wanted. 20 gauge being the smallest and 0 gauge the size of a quarter. Hmmm...largest gauge number = smallest needle = less pain. I want the smallest needle. As they prepared a stall, I looked at the other jewelry for other kinds of piercings: belly, nose, tongue. Most of my friends and many of the cousins were up to their 4th, 5th, or even 6th piercings. For a moment I felt underaccessorized. As if I should have asked for it all, but really, I just want one in each ear. That's it. I'm really a simple person.

The guy who pierced my ears had some 20 or so piercings just on his face. I obviously was in good hands. The man knew piercings, which was a relief. My sister used to scare me with how when we had gotten our initial piercings it was at a department store and they used this big gun needle thing.

Now, that my ears are nearly healed, I've been thinking of getting a pair of studs to wear everyday and replace the plain stainless steel loops put in as place holders.

We went to Ware Designs, to make our final decisions on our rings. Stephen Ware does all the design making himself. You pick out a basic thing and he'll change it around to your specifications. We're really excited about how they'll turn out! I'll blog about that some other time.

Afterwards, I tried on some of the earrings he had there: diamonds, sapphire, tourmaline, ruby. Like most things, it's not really about the price tag, bigger is not necessarily better, it's about finding the thing that fits you: shape, size, color. Do I like hoops, or dangling earrings, or studs? Do I like round or square or triangle or oval? We didn't buy anything today. The princess cut diamond studs were particularly lovely, but I'm sure they'll be lovely some other day as well. In the end, that "practical" side of me still tugs away. I'd be just as happy without the diamonds.

Besides, I'm sure my mother will probably give me some earrings, she's been waiting almost 30 years afterall.