Thursday, May 26, 2005

out of touch, in the same neighborhood

It's been 7 years since I'd seen L. I'm not sure how we lost touch, it just happened right after I graduated, she went one way I went another. I called her right after work. We were just talking a mile a minute catching up on each other, our families. Are you good? Yeah I'm good. And you? Yeah, I'm good.

No hard feelings, just picking up where we had left off. Frankly, I'll be the first to admit that I am horrible at keeping touch which is probably why there's no love lost when I see you again. We've both been in the area. In fact, she works down the street from where I live. And she thought she might have seen me in Berkeley a while ago, but was never quite sure.

When I was descirbing my sister and I's place of residence, she remembered how they matched our personalities, so different. I remembered her parent's penchant for doing gardens and putting koi ponds the way they did to her sister's backyard.

The Fiance says that her picture looks really different from when he knew her. But talking on the phone with her, alot has changed in both of our lives, yet we feel the same. We hadn't seen each other in so long, I hadn't talked much about her to the Fiance.

I had discussed this kind of feeling with D and another friend C. D said it's easy to be friends with me, I don't really care that someone has been gone for years. C told me that though she had changed alot in the last year, we don't change, our friendship together doesn't change, the way we can freely talk to each other doesn't change.

There are people from my life I have not seen in ages, but I think of them often and wonder where they are, how they're doing, hope that their life is well and figure the universe will have us cross paths one day again. I have known you and will always know you.

I think it's because in my heart I know they know me, or maybe it's not knowing me, but that in my heart, they let me be. They don't know "me" they know my "being." I realized I tend to keep friends who keep me honest. They can tell when I'm saying or doing something that is not my "being" and I do the same. So perhaps that's what it is. There are your day to day friends, then there are your "being" friends that are always with you day to day even though it's been years.

And maybe that's why in some ways I don't miss the years we were apart, miss the weddings and events, because I don't have to be there, to be there. "I" wondered if there would be animosity. The Fiance replied that I don't have friends like that.

It feels good to reconnect with a piece of your heart.


Anonymous said...

is your last name by any chance aglipay?

Gura said...

no it's not