beauty queens, debuts and empowerment

Lots of interesting postings (here, here and here) on beauty queens and debuts and how they fit in notions of beauty and standards for women and particularly Pinay Power.

I'm not sure what to think at this point, or perhaps it's that I have lots of things I'm thinking about to settle on just one. In part, that in being part of such a large family that is predominated by women both in my mother's generation and in mine, I often compare the discussions to what I've observed in my own family.

My mother convinced my sister to participate in a group debut, a fundraiser for a church. She hated it. I don't think I even went to it, I had a basketball game or something. She was particularly annoyed when I was given the option not to do a debut when I came of age. Maybe my mother thought that since I wasn't even remotely interested in dresses, heels, and makeup that getting me do a debut would be like pushing a boulder uphill.

In recent years however, I've attended numerous debuts of my younger cousins who were actually the ones to initiate having a debut in the first place, as opposed to their parents imposing it upon them. A few came of age when their family couldn't give them a debut and they kind of regret that their younger siblings did. Others opted for other kinds of parties. Looking at these debuts now, I can't imagine ever going through one, since I just didn't have that many friends for the 18 candles and 18 roses ceremonies and most of my cousins had yet to immigrate or were 4 years old.

And in having this recent wedding (300+ people), I actually felt more guilty in the planning that it was too many people. But then too, I knew that having a "small" wedding with the size of our family was never going to happen and that a big party would be fun. I also had to understand that for my parents it was a chance for them to invite all of their friends and family who had invited them to so many things over the years, it was a community affair.

I think though it is important to understand what were the experience of these women involved in these social affairs of beauty queens and debuts, that shapes both how women are perceived to be and what role women play. But were they all torturous experiences, or were there people who loved being beauty queens?

And to complicate it further this traditional rough and tumble gal who usually doesn't worry about body hair and makeup spent this past year learning about just that and as I called it, "go all out girlie" not because people expected me too but because I wanted to see if I could.

At my brother's Filipino graduation at UCLA, there was a young woman there who listed her accomplishments at UCLA just like everyone else. But unlike everyone else who had been involved in Samahang and other orgs, she was a beauty queen winner, and had participated in numerous contests. Though they weren't things that interested alot of people there, they obviously were important to her and her community. My brother looked at the ad and admitted that this aspect of the Filipino community that this woman represented was completely foreign to him.

I just keep seeing layers upon layers that seem to dig up even more questions than answers. And in terms of empowerment and disempowerment, what different kinds of empowerment and disempowerment does one experience depending on which role we are playing? When we're the beauty queen, the runner-up, the outsider how are we both empowered and disempowered in what ways and what arenas are we empowered or disempowered (personally, sexually, in the community, in our families) and how is that power wielded by the ones who have it? Is Imelda not the ultimate beauty queen personas, the way she promoted her beauty standards in believing that it was patriotic?

In the same way that we may dislike the notions on beauty impressed upon us, there are women who enjoy plucking out the latest eyebrow style. While I was getting my facial and nails done I did enjoy it. Hell, even had a few fake lashes glued on too. Yet still I find a walk through Sephora quite overwhelming and stressful.

And my mind still hasn't even touched upon how men do and don't play a role in this and how the same man can disempower one woman, yet completely support another with similar view points. How is one "safe" and the other is "not"? And is the ability of women to completely unnerve men in this way a form of our power? How is being an object of desire perhaps not in a beauty pageant way but in everyday life a way of having power over men? How often do women "toy" with men who are interested in them, not because they are also interested but simply because they can?

And don't get me started on how all of this may play out in a martial arts arena or else this blog post will never end.

I just don't know. I think I'm more confused now than I was before. But I think this is only the beginning of alot more discussion and research.