end of the girlie year

With all the discussion about beauty, Bec adds a few things about her mother's make-up and debuts, I figure I should wrap up what I called my girlie year. If we recall, the road to girliness was mostly for the walk down the aisle, and for most of my life, I was the slouching, baggy clothes rough and tumble gal. And the search for the inner girliness in me was undertaken to 1) see if I could do it, 2) because if there's one night of your life to have an excuse to be ultra glam it's your wedding day, 3) to explore a side of myself and a way of looking at who I was that I had never done before.

In the end, I passed. (I was going for pass/no pass) Although some folks weren't too sure as it got down to the wire. After the wedding rehearsal, a member of the bridal party reminded me to sit with my knees together and on the edge of the chair. I responded with this look of "of course, are you nuts?" The dress for the most part took care of that sitting posture. Hell I even, tucked the dress in a way so it wouldn't have those frumpy folds when I was sitting.

Things I learned during the girlie year:

-I found myself standing taller, straighter (the yoga helped), but it was more that in learning to present myself in a different way, a side effect was that even on a casual level I presented myself more (ie stood straighter). I often slouched as a way of not drawing attention to myself, as I was uncomfortable with the "spotlight" as it were, to be the tall pinay.

-I learned I had pretty normal skin and that drinking citrus drinks and upping Vitamin C levels were good for retaining moisture in the skin. And that I liked that my face and lips weren't chapped and cracked during the day. That the face is the first palette, the first level of the presentation which can be painted on to create different meanings.

-thank god for the salespeople at Sephora (ie the Jungle guides) because there was no way in the world I would have been able to find anything in that store before the bright lights there either burned my eyes or caused a migraine.

-Lip Shellac is on my essential list of makeup must haves. This more or less caters to my own personal laziness and this stuff keeps me from having to reapply lipstick for an entire day.

-I still hate eyeliner. And I especially hate the make-up treatment where they put 3 layers of eyeliner on top of anime eye false lashes. Sharp objects being poked in and around the eyes is still a bad thing. But, I understand in terms of the make-up look, the eyes are the first and foremost thing that creates the transformation. As people looked at pictures, they weren't sure if it was me because I looked so different.

-Not so much about what you wear as it is what you wear to highlight and accent the good stuff you got. Colors that go with your skin tones. Clothes that fit properly.

-Smile evenly, chin down, head tilt, elbows to the body, fingers together. To create the nicely posed picture without double chins.

-Best to find foundation makeup close to when you're going to use it, especially if you tan.

-only the really really high end bustiers and girters are really worth it. the stuff with ribbing and ties. everything else is a waste of money.

-It's good to have girlie friends, even if they are guys. If you're not an expert, go get yourself an expert.

-When in doubt, a little goes a long way.

-French manicures can be repaired in an emergency with white out.

-Portable steamers are excellent devices. Additional things for the emergency kit: hairspray, bobby pins, safety pins, scissors.

-Ribbon is dirt cheap right after Christmas.

-I still won't let anyone change the shape of my eyebrows. A little clean up maybe, but that's it.

-Lastly, I realized that I really don't mind doing the girlie girl thing as much as I thought I would, though I don't think I could go all out everyday, certainly I can retain a few things from it. It's nice to know I can be that woman when I want to be. That I don't have to be Barbie or Maria Clara or even Maria Clara Barbie, that I can dress up and still be the me that I feel I am. I can be beautiful still being me. And in that belief, I've gained a sense of ownership over my own beauty. So that I do these "girlie" things because it's something I want to do and it makes me feel good. And when I don't want to do it, that's fine too. Beauty is not beauty when it's an enforced standard, when it's unnatural to the person enduring it. Beauty is beauty when it's simply beauty for the sake of it. Something that allows a person to present an honesty of who they really are.

Seems strange, wear a mask to show your truth. But you can't fake a sincere smile, can't fake joy, nor happiness no matter how much make up you have.