latent genes, inhaling and receiving

At 10pm last night, the hubby finished scrubbing the kitchen, I finished vacuuming the carpet and a few cobwebs, and we discovered that in our clearning (cleaning & clearing) we overzealously lost the water tank cap of the steam cleaner we borrowed. (Will have to search the internet for that). After bringing home one last shelf and the two vacuums (actually one wet/dry vac and a "carpet extractor") then returning the Car Share Car, we were done. His apartment was as empty as he had moved into it 12 years ago including a floor/ceiling light post and a line drawing of fruit on a table. Of course that meant that our condo was now piled with boxes and tables and things looking for a place to call home.

My mother often said that I got my mother's knack for handling money, while my sister got the cleaning and home organizing traits. And now that my sister and I are both in our 30s, we are both trying to awaken that side of my mother we never got.

My mother really is a wonder in terms of household organizing. She managed to find a place for all of our gifts in the past year. She got the garage reorganized. She even instantly found a place for the rattan chairs that we could no longer fit in the condo for now and are storing at her house. It's like the house is a sponge for things, people, and yesterday meetings of the town association. It has taken me 30 years to understand what my mother's ability means. And along with that, to understand my mother.

In doing a bit of my own clearning at the condo, I've come to realize that the clutter inhibits breathing. Seems obvious, I know, what I've often been a slow bloomer. Last week in kali, Tuhan described the Taoist reverse breathing, sometimes also called, Buddhist Breathing, in which as you inhale, your abdomen sucks in, and while you exhale the abdomen pushes out. The inhale is about creating space, space for breath, space for energy. What I realized in my clutter, is that I didn't have this kind of space, a space to inhale, to receive, to have entertain guests, to bring in new things in my life. And in creating space, it allows you to absorb things more deeply, there is room for more, there is capacity.

Remember I mentioned that when I looked through my closets I held alot of empty boxes. Those boxes kept me from inhaling deeper. Bubbles of air that blocked passageways. A pile of things that are not in use, is about the same as an empty box taking up space in a closet that could be of better use. An empty box is stagnant air.

But this capacity to inhale reflects the capacity to exhale as well. I've watched how my parent's house over the years has received numerous lives of family guests temporarily staying, sometimes temporarily staying for years at a time. Took in a couple of slumber parties, a few retreats, and numerous parties and celebrations. The way the house seems to absorb and find a space for all these people to come and enjoy themselves. The capacity to inhale, is the capacity to receive, is the capacity to exhale, is the capacity to give.

So this is the lesson I've been obsessing over the past month or so, and I suspect will till be doing for a few more months. The ability to create space, to live in, to inhale, to receive, to take in guests, to bring new things into my life, our life. I have to become a better receiver, learn to take in deeper breaths, and perhaps kick start a latent gene or two.