Monday, March 12, 2007

tomorrow is tomorrow, today is today

So, practicing this thing called "being," which means no more trying to be this or that, no more hemming or hawing at what I think I want to be or maybes about who I am, just simply "being" the person I am. In one sense, this "being" has led to "doing" and has freed up alot of energy from the self-consciousness and doubt. Though they still linger at times.

"Being" also means appreciating what you have right now from the roof over your head, the health that you have, the people in your life, and money in your bank account. Life truly becomes gravy. The other day my coworker was having a bad day tripping out on me about something or other and while before the incident might have hung on me, I just called her up and dealt with it.

I recall back to the project management training about risks. Assess the risks, and when they come up, handle it.

But "being" is also tiring and it's easy to try to escape "being" by lingering on the past or dreading the future. And I try to remind myself that I'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow, right now, keep dealing with today. Not to say I won't plan for the future because that's important too, but it's also important to know when things happen and they don't have to happen all right this very second, though things can happen simultaneously in your life.

It's taken some adjusting because it really is a different kind of energy. When I'm not working, then I'm not working, but when I'm working, I'm working. And things are happening and getting done. And new things are coming in. I got a wonderful new space to teach kali in.

I feel like I've been rolling for 3 weeks now. Today I'm feeling some of the fatigue. And this evening, I'm going to let myself just rest. Take a nap after work. Blog a bit. And just enjoy today, today.

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