I haven't posted here much at all though I've wanted to post reactions on the various personal and/or global experiences over the past couple of months...but then I haven't.
And while I continue my avid presence on facebook, even there, my public life has come down to chit-chat snippets.
I see all the links to community events and think briefly about going, but then don't. Sometimes there are truly other things that get in the way, others, I get the feeling of, "that's not where I need to be."
I've listened closely to that "need to be voice" as it's served me well.
And I know as I add people to my facebook list of people I met in various community events and organizations, they must wonder, while I also wonder, "I haven't seen
in a long time."
I told someone several months ago that I found myself in an "observation" phase. I still find myself there. Quietly taking care of things that I could not take care of when taking care of the community.
Someone asked if I was going to participate in this event next year and my reply was, "I have not yet decided how I plan to participate." I think my choice of words are important. I don't attend things just to attend them so much anymore. I haven't been that interested in attending Filipino events much either. Because the question is, how am I engaging and participating and not much simply attending. All I know is that this is not the direction.
I'm not sure if there is any direction right now and perhaps my direction that I need to delve is not horizontal but vertical. That perhaps my direction is the depth of the plain.
I don't think this quiet life will last forever. I do envision a time when I will return to "saying" something either here or artistically or even socially. But that time is not now.