Friday, April 02, 2004

clutzy me

Today has got to be one of my more uncoordinated days. Bought a cup of soup for lunch, spilled it on my hand and the ground, saved enough of it to still have lunch. I don't know what I was cursing more: the embarassment, or the stinging heat on my hand. (but karmic thank you to the woman who asked if I was alright.) Then this afternoon, spilled a cup of water on my pants and floor, while looking at my co-worker's new cell phone. Good thing I'm not teaching or doing kali today. Perhaps its because I've done a total of nearly a week of serious concentrating.

Last Friday was poker night, which though entertaining takes a lot of focus to get through. I held my own and got back what I put in, but not without blowing a few gaskets in my head keeping track of the probable odds in people's hands. The mental fatigue is the hardest thing about poker. When you get tired you make bad decisions like staying in the pot too long knowing you only have a pair of twos.

Saturday was a feng shui workshop. Feng shui is the study and art of room decor or placement. If you see the air in your home as energy, it's about studying how the energy flows in a room and being able to transform stagnant energy with active quality energy. Since then, been thinking about the duality of things, the idea of mass into energy into mass again, and how good things contain a seed of bad and bad things contain a seed of good. Again, more headiness.

Sunday was the money group. More numbers. More analysis and thinking about how to save, where to spend, and how to save more. Kind of like the mass to energy to mass again idea.

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday all days I teach Kali. But Monday included judging for the Growing up Asian American essay contest at the Asian Pacific Fund. The topic was Friendship. Winners will be announced at the end of the month. This was a delightful time, but contributed a few brain cells weighing the merits between the finalists. Their writing and insight blew me away!

Wednesday was rehearsal for Before Their Words. Check out Maiana's piece on Babaylan Speaks April edition. Our final show at Jon Sims is Friday April 9. Going to try to integrate two beings during the Sondayo vs the Wind Goddess scene. Lots of really good discussion on how one beats the wind goddess and what does winning mean and how does a mortal win. Trying to figure out how to visually show the story and emotion.

So, today, I spent much of the day trying to finish up my taxes so my dad can go over them on Sunday. But my brain was well gone before then. Tonight is kulintang. So, I'll just have to ride on the music. It's so easy to get carried away in the beats and rhythms of the brass gongs. Perhaps then my brain can rest.

It was a good busy week. Unlike bad busy weeks which are overwhelming. This one I managed to ride along well. I haven't written any poems lately. But this week felt like a poem. So many ideas and concepts to filter through that I'm sure will find its way to my writing. Topics I've wanted to write about appeared. Right now, it just feels numb, like there's a log jam to the entrance of my brain.

Looking forward to weaving Palm fronds on Sunday. I don't go to church often, but I like Palm Sunday. I like folding the leaves into a zig-zag pattern, back and forth around the stiff center cord. It's the only think I know how to fold. Others will make crosses and other designs. I'm not sure if anyone is paying attention to the sermon, they're all in their own meditative folding worlds.

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