moving in the movement

Over the years I've met quite a few Filipino activists who have been activists for over 20 years now. They tell me all sorts of stories, about the different organizations and the splits in the left. It's a complicated storyline with various characters, intrigue, and even an old sage of a man with a fiery spirit.

They tell me about how back in the day these people who used to be in opposite leftist groups used to plot and undermine each other during that movement that covered much of the Marcos era. It's funny they say, "I didn't even know these people, yet they were the enemy and I hated them." But now, many of them get along and have worked together in recent movements.

In these conversations I often sit and watch and listen, trying to figure out the pieces of the puzzle. Sometimes, they try not to name names to protect those I may also know as to not taint the minds of the younger generation. I don't know if I'll ever understand it fully. Even now, over 25 years later, many who were a part of these movements still hold resentments towards each other. Some have not told their children how they were a part of history.

My generation only hears bits and pieces. They are like my parents in this way. They think it best at times not to tell the next generation the problems of the past. Some were excellent archivists and have volumes of material from that era. They talk about donating it some day to some library, then think perhaps not now. There are still a few boxes to perhaps censor lest they incriminate anyone.

We see these people all over the community now. They're professors, directors of community organizations, lawyers, doctors, writers, artists, nurses, etc. I was having lunch with one of them today. He too has his collection from the past.

He says there are people who still carry a lot of resentment from those days. I tell him I wonder how that comes to play in their health and well being. He'd like to call a reunion of another group during that time, just to bring some closure for people. He immediately received an email saying, "no! no! no! not ever!"

I enjoy listening to all these people's stories. I wonder how this history influences my generation. I tell my friend, what you should do is donate it to a library, but with instructions that certain material not be released until some far date in the future when most of the said parties should be long gone. He ponders that suggestion. It's not that they don't want people to know what happened, they want to protect people who perhaps would like to keep their past in the past.

As we leave, I tell him, you will all be in my fictional novel some day. It all makes for a great book: mad dictator, culty left organization, conspiracy theories, and oh yes, the old sage with a spirit of fire.