beds, dreams, and the like

So, I have a new bedset, courtesy of a friend. It was the first furniture her family bought after they came to the U.S. There are some nicks and scratches, but it's really solid furniture with the dovetail ends to secure the drawers together. Mahogany too, as if her family was trying to reclaim a bit of the Philippines by getting the nice tropical hardwood as opposed to the furniture of American Pine.

My friend doesn't need it anymore, but can't bear to sell it or simply leave it for Salvation Army. I understand. She'd rather hand it off to someone she knows will make good use of it, as well as understand their emotional value. These are significant things that mark the passage of the immigrant family: the first winter coat, the first car, the first bed. Each purchase claims more and more of this American life and in some ways brings them farther and farther away from their past life. These are big and important choices. Money is hard earned and must be well spent. I see that in the furniture.

I calculate back 30 years and think wow, this is a very serious purchase for a family. It's not modern, but it does have just a touch of old style in its curves. It's well crafted, dove tail joints instead of penny nails. Light detail of beads, a few other decor highlights, but not overly so nor gaudy. It's about building a quality, solid foundation for a new life.

I'm still not sure where to put all the furniture. But for sure it will mean that I will be getting rid of my futon bed. When I first moved out after college, my parents didn't think it was such a good idea. They thought the big bad world would eat me alive. I knew I needed a bed. My very own bed. Not like the one at home where I was pushed off of when any new guest came to stay. Knowing I needed to get the most out of the bed, needing it to be mobile and flexible, I chose a futon as would most college students. But since I had graduated, I made sure it had the thickest mattress I could get that could still be folded in half for a couch. I could at least afford that for myself.

This futon has followed me along through 3 different residences, served as an optional guest chair at several parties. Though the last time I did that I realized allowing people to use it as a couch interfered with slumber sleep, so no more couch converting for my bed. Which brought me to the point at which I realized it was time for a bed bed or as my cousin puts it, "a grown-up bed" similar to the "big girl's bed" when you were small.

Thus, my friend's email, and the acquisition of a bed bed. Yet another sign that the universe provides in its own way.

Consequently, I'm looking to also pass along my futon to a worthy successor. Two of my cousins, both heading off to college, want it. They are where I was 7 years ago, starting out, seeing their lives as temporary from one semester to the next not yet really committing to one thing or another, flexible and open to various living possibilities. They want a futon. It's easy to move, can be both a sofa and a bed which they find to be so cool.

These last few nights going to bed, a part of me will miss my futon. It was one of the first big purchases I ever made as a young adult. My first step to show my parents I could take care of myself. It was a sign too to them of my new independence, that I would no longer be under their roof. I think my aunts and uncles realize that too, which is why my cousins haven't gotten a futon yet, though it's something they've both wanted for a long time.

I had different dreams for my life on this futon, wrote different poems in the journal that sat by its bedside. Those are old dreams. So, though I'm getting an old bed (with a hardly used mattress for excellent lumbar support), it's time for me to dream new dreams, write new poems, imagine a new life for myself. You spend a third of your life sleeping, plenty of time to recreate oneself over and over again.