mahal means love and expensive

Hey, Leny, don't know if engrande (large, upscale) weddings are a sign of economic return. They seem to be in their own economic bubble. Because weddings play up to our greatest expectations and dreams and we will pay anything to make a dream come true.

But, yes, 240 folks in attendance. My sister did a fabulous job running around as the wedding coordinator. My bro, though he didn't sing, did a fine fine job as MC. The youngest cousin worked her Tahitian dancing, while her brother tickled the ivory during the reception for a jar full of ones, the family dancing queen did a rousing hip hop routine, and the couple themselves sang a karaoke duet. The family is quite taLENted.

Whew! Weddings are often crazy as family who doesn't see each other all that often come together because well they're family. First time for most of us to see the groom's family since they live way out where.

I've come to look at weddings differently now that I'm having one, looking at all the details, figuring out how everything falls into place. I took care of flowers for the bridal party and getting the line up in order. It's hard to keep Filipinos in one place. And we couldn't hold back the tide of flash photography no matter how much the priest hated it.

And in the end, yes, they were married, complete with tearful father/daughter dance.

The family is excited by all the weddings this year. Got cousins volunteering to do whatever task needed at our wedding. If you want volunteer staff at your own wedding, volunteer at everyone else's. I have a feeling that the family thinks that our wedding will be super engrande. Yeah, I know there's a lot of people, but we don't really care that much for having seat covers and an open bar all night. And no, no huge floral arrangements for the church either.

Fortunately enough, the fiance's sister had a super engrande wedding, tux affair for a hundred at the Beverly Hills Hilton with colored lights on the walls, handmade candelabras with rosebuds, silver charger plates, and a train that went down 4-5 pews. You really only need to experience one engrande wedding for a lifetime and hers was it. Thank you!

Afterwards we went home, while the younger cousins had an all night poker party at my aunt's house. There were more informal family gatherings the next day, but we had to start our church engagement classes.

The Catholic Church which is upset about the divorce rate in the US requires all couples that want to be married in the church to attend either a bootcamp weekend or a 6-week class for engaged couples. Though there's a bible reading at the beginning of each section and a couple of references to Jesus, there isn't a whole lot about "conversion." They're really opportunities for couples to discuss big topics in marriage: how your family experience influences the way you perceive marriage, how you handle disagreements, whether or not you want kids and how to raise them, etc.

There's a 100+ question evaluation called the FOCCUS evaluation where they compare the answers you put down individually with your partner. Lots of questions about how to handle finances, whether you think marriage will fix everything, whether there are outside sources that are influencing your decision on getting married. We then will talk about the results with the pastor in a couple of months. No right or wrong answers, just checking to see if the two of us are on the same page.

So far, we're liking it. We were a bit apprehensive since we don't go to church that often, but it's alright so far and it looks like the 6 weeks will go by fast.

In one of the handouts, it discussed love as a decision, a process as opposed to a feeling. Obviously, there will be arguments and conflict, but because love is a decision, I can continue to love my partner despite being mad at him. Love as the common denominator, a choice one makes each day of their lives. Not really about falling in and out of love, but to know that love in there whether or not it's palpable. It certainly makes the issue of love more meaningful in that one is empowered with choice. At the same time it puts a bit more responsibility on the one choosing as opposed to riding the whims of destiny. And maybe it's not so much that there is no love, but that we have taken love for granted or that we no longer notice the signs of love, or that those signs have changed.

As a writer, I've read a lot of love poems and written a few myself. Love is difficult to write about since you wonder how one could write about love again when everyone has a love poem. But most of the ones I've read and written are about an emotional love as opposed to love as a process an underlying current. Now there's a poem to write, to still find love when it can no longer be felt.