something borrowed

My mother said she had some items for our wedding. One box had a small wedding prayer book with mother of pearl cover, their names handwritten by someone else's hand inside the cover and the date of their wedding.

Another box held three rings. Their wedding rings and a ring of her father, that seemed so thin it could have been a pinky ring on me. My parents do not wear their wedding rings. They scratch they say. They were two toned: gold with some kind of steel metal center with a sort of cubic design on them, jagged. My father's ring had 5 small diamonds in it. This was the first time I had ever seen my parent's wedding rings. Their names and wedding date engraved in each one. We might take these too to the jeweler someday to perhaps remake them, but it a smoother cut design, something similar, but more comfortable. Something they can wear.

In the last box was the arras, a rough chain of Philippine pesos, 1964 on many of them. I can't imagine the exchange rate back then, no where near the 63 Pesos to the dollar it is now. A double heart with their names in the center. She said maybe we could get the coins cleaned and then maybe our jeweler could add a new double heart with our names, we just keep adding to the chain. It was very touching to think about adding our link in this chain. I only hope our marriage will be as bountiful.

I was reminded of the T'boli belt we have. The one the Fiance offered in dowry, the one Tuhan said, the bells are the souls of our people. The belt has two layers, a symbol of a married woman. An added tier of bells would have been added for a grandmother. The belt is heavy and seems as it would have been an added burden for a grandmother to add yet another row of bells, but it fits perfectly on the hips and you can barely feel the weight. You are only reminded of its presence when the bells jingle. I must admit I am a bit nervous about being married, about the added responsibilities of being in a partnership or eventually having a family, the weight of it all. I hope that it will be like this belt, it only seems heavy, but when worn properly it's not really a burden at all.

I've thought about wearing this belt during the reception after the "I do's." Only then do I think it will "feel" right to do so. But we'll see how the dress looks first and I'll think about it.

57 days to go.