Sunday, January 28, 2007

ProsperityShip: This is your life

Many many many things have been revealed to me this weekend. The spiritual and emotional nature of my back injury. The direction and changes I want to make in my life. The way aspects of life interelate to the body and what this has to do with healing.

I joined another one of Tuhan's classes. This time a new one he's calling a Prosperity workshop of ProsperityShop, though I'm calling it ProsperityShip since we've been using metaphors of a cruise ship. I like the duality of that name as in the "being in a state of prosperity". I'm writing more about that in another blog which I am not quite ready to reveal here but it's not a private blog either, so there you have it.

While many of Tuhan's other classes involve pain, this one has more of a focus on fun and doing with a touch of risk. So we had recess time and played on swings and went down twisty slides. Yes 5 grown adults going down twisty slides without any small kids around.

As I recalled my school days and recess I realized the importance of jungle gyms are really to allow children the ability to learn to take risks. To cross rickety bridges, to find your foothold on things, to be willing to jump off things that seem high, to slide down slides not knowing which direction you're going or where you'll end up.

I've always loved playing. I like to move, I like things physical. I like being outside. And all the memories that you have tied around being on a playground. I loved the swing set we had in the back yard. How we would try to see how far we could launch ourselves off of the swing and fly. Good good memories.

Of course we did some work as well which included writing down our top ten things we wanted to do in our lives. It's hard writing 10. Then imagining and detailing what that dream looked like. It was hard at first to imagine my dream, which at the moment is to raise of family. I mean, I don't have kids (yet). And I found a lot of fears and anxiety around that tied into my back issue. As my back issue is less so much about letting go as it is about creating space. Both are changes, both are painful things. It became clear I need to make space for children in my life. I also have to make space to be the person I need to be.

We were asked to try again but with more sensory detail. This was much easier for me as I picked a date and time in our future when we had 3 kids, lived in the house we wanted, and I even built in the scenario of waking up in the morning and imagining how that day would transpire. I was glad that although feeling blocked and filled with fear on the first task that imagining a specific day was quite effortless. That was a bit of a relief.

Writing out that day was/is writing out your future. I mean you are literally creating your future in this moment. You are feeling, tasting, smelling, touching it right there. Your future isn't tomorrow, it's today. What you build and do today and every day.

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