Tuesday, September 11, 2007

hyphy wifey

One of my cousins now in college IMs me, "Ate, did you see (younger cousin's) myspace? I'm concerned. I used to watch Barney with her!"

Oh there was alot of growing up this weekend during my sister's wonderful wedding. Not so much growing up as it was for the family to realize that all these "little kids" are neither little nor kids anymore.

The college cousin continues to type her concerns of a slightly older guy being interested in her and how the younger cousin's older sister didn't want to say anything to her because she wanted her sister to be able to come to her and not see her as an extra parent.

So I check her myspace page and check out the comments she leaves for a 17 year old boy. OK. I still wasn't sure if there was anything super serious or that's just the way kids her age talk. I didn't understand 80% of the phrases, like "hyphy wifey".

After the wedding most of the mom's side cousin were hanging out in a side courtyard to the tea bar where there was a mini-reception. The younger cousin is sitting there, hanging out with the younger set, the other two not quite in middle school yet. I haven't worried too much about her. Her grades are good, she's never acted in the family as if she was in a hurry to grow up, and she seems more interested in cars than in guys.

So I approach her and say out loud, "so (younger cousin), what's a hyphy wifey?" I ask in all sincerity, because I had no idea what that meant. She grins shyly, looks away to her phone she was texting on. The other cousins had no idea why I was asking, though I'm sure they might have thrown a fit if they knew, but for now, this wasn't a completely embarrassing question.

"Well, you know what a wifey is?" OK yeah, I think so. "And you know what hyphy is?" OK yeah. "Well, it's those two together."

Um, well, I still didn't get it and even after a search in urban dictionary, I'm still not sure as wifey for me was a bit more serious, but there were quite a few definition of wifey as just a really close girl friend. In any case, she knows I'm reading her myspace and I'm clicking on her friends to see who they are, but I'm not giving her a hard time about something that might not be anything. And that was enough.

At the reception, like the hubby said, a there's a group of girls well into college and just about to graduate, ie they're old now. Old enough to drink at least. And so a couple of them got quite wasted at the wedding, supplied by various charitable brothers and uncles who were giving them drinks.

I chatted with one of the brothers about them getting sloshed and he's like, "can you talk to them about pacing themselves?" And I replied, "you know they just have to figure that out for themselves. They're old now, they can make decisions for themselves."

But their drinking irked a few of their older siblings and moms. One of the siblings just kept lamenting the "young generation". Eh, at least they're where we can watch them. Rather here than out there. Plus, the bride didn't care and they weren't throwing up in the hall or on anyone and they weren't much more drunk than some of the bride's friends, so I really didn't see the issue there.

Besides, if there are any lessons to be lectured, they're so much better done the next morning when their heads are pounding. lol!

One of them, though was quite new to drinking. She "pretended" to be getting her shoes under the table. I lift her up and walk her out the room hoping to get her to the bathroom. Really, girl, let's talk about being drunk with some sense of class. But she doesn't make it that far and runs out to the courtyard hoping to hold it in. Oh, she broke every rule of drunken vomiting! I felt bad for her bf who she was introducing to the family for the first time. He seemed embarrassed, but that will be something she has to deal with when she gets sober. I walk over to him, I didn't get a chance to chat with him. I ask how long they've been together. Five years? I shake his hand, and say, "Five years? That's (pointing to the courtyard where she was chucking into her shoes) yours. We love you already. Tell her WE (all the cousins, especially the older ones) are going to make fun of her for a very long time."

I found it all very funny.

There is always that moment with your younger siblings and cousins that you watched grow up and you think of them as that cute little kid in all their innocence, then you see them now and think wow, it's been a while. Perhaps we hold on to those nostalgic images because we want to still be young, or that we think their lives were simple, and our lives were simple. But at some point, we have to open our own eyes and realize that that is not who they are now and they haven't been that little kid in years. And at some point, you just have to come into the reality that "they're old!" they make their own decisions, they do their own thing, and really you can't control that, like you could really control it before. So, I just sit back and watch and every once in a while chit-chat to see what they're up to. They're big enough to ask for someone else's opinion, but I'm not their mama and even their own mama can't say much.

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