Friday, August 08, 2008

the cycle turns

Being on facebook is interesting as people announce just about everything and now with over 300 friends, they say alot. There are quite a few babies being born this month, people finding out they're having babies, weddings, etc. Outside of that, a friend's father passes, another friend's grandfather is dying. It makes me aware that all of these things are always happening, that I shouldn't obsess over a small portion of this cycle.

The friend who's father died, she's in her 40s, her father well into his 70s/80s and numerous strokes. But like Filipinos say, she's an orphan (regardless of how old she is). She and her siblings must now face the fact that mom and dad are no longer there to give advice you never heeded anyway or be a sounding board or be there to announce the next great thing in your life. They are now the elders.

The friend whose grandfather is dying is trying to decide whether to see him before he passes. He lives across the ocean and it's expensive. She's stepped upon a sore wound in her father regarding her grandfather. They never did get along, but that was something a 6 year old doesn't comprehend when her grandfather lived here. There are nasty words. I try to tell her the words are less about her and more about him. And she must find her own peace. She wants to know if she will regret if she doesn't go. It really depends on whether she has found peace. But I warned her not to take on other people's guilt she may receive if she doesn't go. This whole thing may be really nothing. At the same time, it feels like this is less about her healing than the healing of her father. Why does the oldest daughter always seem to be the brightest mirror for a father?

There are a few pictures of some of the babies that have been born. I have to admit I think some people post way too much on facebook and by that I mean, the beauty of childbirth is shown through the baby and not pictures of the birth. Thank you very much! There are some things I just don't want to know about people.

And while sometimes I envy those in the parts of the life cycle I wish I was in, seeing everyone's lives on facebook, I come to realize I am always in the part of the cycle that I need to be in. That yes, there is a part of life that we live out, but that there's also a part of life that comes to us. And while we do what we can to encourage those parts of our life cycle to come faster, they don't. There is a time for every season, di ba?

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