Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away, know when to run. AKA what I learned on my 29th birthday

-you know when you're a geek, when all you can think about is playing "Risk: Lord of the Rings, Trilogy Edition" (and yes, the game lasts just as long as the movie)

-playing poker as if all the cards were revealed is easier said than done

-it's easier to bluff a computer screen than a real person

-you can never cook arroz caldo with enough ginger, garlic, and patis to please everybody

-if you can boil water, you can cook arroz caldo (Dare to try, Eileen?)

-cats hate when chicken bones are shoved in their face

-mah jong tiles look like candy

-my parents never played mah jong, yet there's something amazingly comforting about the sound of the clacking tiles

-mulling spices and sugar make even bad wine taste good

-a really good cigar can change the color of your eyes

-cats are quite entertained by mah jong. more importantly, they like to shoot craps.

-mah jong is a game of shifting desires

the no man's land of birthdays

I got out of my weeping funk in time for my birthday. Part of the weeping came from this feeling that I had lost something but didn't know what I had lost. When I figured out what I had lost, I realized it wasn't something I needed anyway, so I didn't need to mourn it being gone. Even now I can't quite describe what it was exactly, though I know I had held onto it for a very long time and it was time to let go.

Had a good Christmas playing board games with the cousins. Fortunately there are so many of us, you can always get a good game going. We had Scrabble, "Take One" a game that uses the scrabble tiles, Cranium (that game that has everything in it and then some: charades, pictionary, trivia, etc.), and dominos.

I was paired up in Cranium with my Kuya who is down from Canada with his wife and young son. Nice part of having a large family, there's always someone to watch the baby during a party which makes it a nice break for the parents. He was hilarious! He kept giving away the answer to the other team, but could never get it when it was our turn! go figure.

For instance, in Sensosketch (in which you draw the thing without looking), I draw a blimp. He needs to say blimp. He's like "air balloon," "Hindenburg," "air balloon." As time ends, every one yells, "BLIMP!" to which he replies, "Blimp? what's that?"

The funniest task Cranium is Hummdinger in which a person must hum or whistle a song. Very few people won on that task.

Yesterday, my bro and I faced the post christmas shopping crowds which weren't too bad. Best part is that the stuff I wanted was 50%. sweet! We decided to bring my parents into the modern century and buy them a DVD player, which replaces their CD player.

And today, I kick off the last of my 20s. Of course, most everyone is out of town. So my birthday is always a small affair. I've come to find that having a birthday during this time, you tend not to use years as a marker for time. Half the time I don't remember how old I'm going to be that year. It just hasn't been a big deal. We're playing poker and mah jong. And smoke a few cigars with the mulled wine after we fill our bellies with some arroz caldo. yummm...

Maligayang Pasko!

Maraming salamat to all the emails lending support and love after my not so cheerful posts. It's truly meant a great deal to me. I'm doing much better. Just been going through the days doing what I can and getting rest and good food in me. It's starting to ebb. My "Finding Nemo" DVD tells me to "just keep swimming" and I am.

Hanging out with the siblings this eve. Called our parents in the Philippines. The Philippines is full of parties this time of year. My mother tells me that they will be celebrating my birthday there on Saturday...without me there! What is that?!? What Filipinos will do to have an excuse to party! I told them to have a drink and slice of cake on me. They still celebrate my uncle's birthday on Jan 2 like it's a holiday. Based on my count, they've killed two pigs thus far. They had the Mr. & Mrs. party the other night and tonight they have the kid's party in the barrio. My parents were worried we wouldn't be able to get through to them cuz the lines are so busy with balikbayan calls home.

Sent a few text messages to friends in the Philippines and was online sending IM messages to relatives in San Diego and elsewhere. Technology is truly amazing.

Hope you enjoy the holidays surrounded by the people you love.

Sinus Remedies and other bloggedy stuff

Tatang missed a bit of the snorting warm water recipe. (I know, cuz I watched Joey demonstrate. I thought he was crazy. It's really one of those Ayurvedic practices. I've seen watering cans just to do this thing.) You're supposed to add a bit of salt to the warm water. This, for you need of a scientific explanation, creates a solution that is similar to body fluids like blood or snot that your nose is used to feeling. OK, so that's pretty gross, but do you want to breathe again or not?

OK, so you got the warm salt water, now you take a bit of a breath to fill your lungs, leaving a bit of room to inhale the salt water and keep it out of your lungs. Hold the water in your nose then exhale it out.

The warm water, like inhaling steam, loosens the phlegm and relaxes your sinuses that are totally inflamed. It's much kinder to your nostrils than forcefully blowing it out dry which creates a great deal of pressure in your nasal cavities.

Hey, I didn't believe it worked either, but then I got sick and utterly desperate wanting to breathe through my nose again and said what the hell, why not drown over your sink. Taking the initial breathe prevents you from drowning.

===

And about Eileen's dog, Achilles, getting felt up. Ironically, as such a fine breed of a pup, this is part of his way of life. These champion dogs are bred to get felt up and not complain. Have you ever watched those competitions on PBS? That's all the judges do is feel up your dog checking all the proper measurements for its breed. The dogs are trained to stand in the proper posture, head erect, tail still, while they are checked out and handled.

As a human, this act of feeling up a dog, seems unnatural, then again dogs sniff each other all the time and maybe I'm just nakakahiya about the ways of dogs.

===

heh, it was raining the day the Watcher, who had recently self-declared to be a born-again Pagan, was asked to be the Catholic godmother of our friend's kid. I was making sure I wasn't standing too close when the lightning hit. Then again, maybe it's proof that God doesn't really care that much about these little things humans seem to bicker over like which religion will really be allowed in heaven.

===

I told Chatelaine that my own weeping would be done soon. I have to allow even my own sadness its space to express itself, in the way I let each poem do so. Then I can let it go.

===

I'll be spending Xmas eve at the DMV trying to get my license renewed. It expires on Saturday. I lost to bureaucracy. Apparently, when you change your address for car registration, they don't change your address for the driver's license. I guess that makes sense, you can drive a car without owning one sure. But who owns a car that someone in their household does not drive? May I get my Christmas wish come true that the DMV lines be short and that my test answers be accurate.

Another preening blogger

Looks like Veronica Montes and her family's culinary feast caused the blackout in SF on Sunday.

just getting through it

I have been feeling like my emotions have been a raw nerve set open to the wind these past couple of weeks. Things that usually don't bother me have resonated like a bad chord. And the worst part is, I have no idea why I'm being teary eyed. For the most part, I've been a person to take things in stride, have things in perspective. Yet as much as my mind can understand the true weight of things, my eyes set to water so instantly. Like my skin so red and raw that it senses each change of breeze.

I went to my teacher's seminar the other day, outside in the light rain. It felt like being in the Matrix. My teacher told me afterwards, I was reserved. I suppose I was just trying to protect the delicate nature of my emotion. I don't like to cry in front of strangers. I rarely cry in front of friends. I'm like my mother in that way.

I'm not totally out of it, been watching movies, hanging out with friends. But it's the quiet moments that get me. The fear in me that I keep at bay most times has decided to come front and center. Like most fear, it's irrational and can't be rationed with. It freezes me.

I write this in my daily attempt to simply keep moving. Go through with daily life and get through the little stuff each day. Check my phone calls, answer emails, teach, go to work, eat, write a blog.

There are things I am avoiding. These things seem small. And I'm sure they probably are. Part of me just wants these things to go away. Part of me knows it is not that easy. The more I avoid them, the greater the fear grows.

I remember this fear. It's presented itself before. It's the fear of the fictionalized self. I begin to wonder who I am and who is this person people see me as. And I wonder if this is all true. Then I'm not sure who I am and things begin to feel hollow. The last time this happened, I forgot who I was, I forgot my name.

My mind races back through memory trying to locate the experiences that got me out the last time. sigh.

I know what I have to do. Yet I hesitate. I am selfish. I am scared. I am annoyed with myself because my mind knows it is simple. I am still afraid.

I sit at the edge of a high peak. The path below looks steep and rocky, but the view is breathtaking and I think why not just stay here. But I know the truth. I cannot stay here. The view is a moment. Something will eventually push me to take that step but I'd rather do it on my own.

I just need a bit of time.

i cried

I cried watching ROTK, then again, I've been a bit weepy lately anyway.

May the duende watch over you

May the duende watch over dear sweet Izzy as she rests tonight, so that sleep may lesson her fever and allow her body to battle this bug, so that comfort may come to the weary brow of a worried father.

Comment away!

Prem is itching away wanting to comment on my blog. OK, Prem, I'm a pushover, thanks to Blog Speak which makes it easy enough to add a comment section without having to move the entire blog to another place entirely.

the embodiment of Sondayo

the embodiment of Sondayo

I have been on the verge of tears the last two days. Nothing in particular, probably the sum of many things.

I have performed kali with poetry and dance many times before. Each time it breaks another threshold, it takes me time to recover. It demands that much more of me. It wants so much more than I can give, yet I still do.

Maiana and I had performed Sondayo fighting the Wind Goddess before, just before she would do it in New York. I could not attend, so we needed to video tape. We filmed for a few hours at bindlestiff. Going over each section, working through the plot arch of the movement. Discover how such an epic battle should end. It was more phsyically draining then. Perhaps I was making the mistake that any mortal would make when fighting a deity, physical strength has no power over gods.

We practiced the weekend before at a park near my house near the lake. It was windy that day, enough to give us an understanding of the power of the wind. How it cannot be captured or held. how there is no defeating of wind, only surviving it.

We decided to end the video with Maiana wearing the malong of the wind and playing tug-o-war until at last we realize there can be no winners. The only way to end, is to stop fighting, to see each other for who we are. In the video, we drop the malong we are fighting over and I help her dress in the malong. An acknowledgement of our sisterhood as well as to her immortality. Love is not a possession.

It is strange how in these acts of art you find something more than yourself. At times lessons and answers.

The performance at Pusod was different. It was a smaller space, a live venue. We would do what we did before, but this time end differently. Instead of always fighting hard, I decided to fight slow, in the way the wind gathers in your cupped hands. Then end by being engulfed completely by the wind, and concluding by wearing the malong with it draped over my head like a hood.

I did not notice at first. We had practiced in the afternoon. I was supposed to also read poetry just before the show, but found myself weary from such a short rehearsal. I bailed out of the pre-show performance to save myself for the end.

I have come to the realization that many of these tears welling up in my eyes now are remnants from the show. The emotion after the struggle when the sense of loss is felt greatest.

What is it to be Sondayo? Who has lost her husband to the wind? Who must now learn how to slay a god? Who faces losing her love forever if she fail?

Maiana's words are my guide through the journey. They mark where I am to be, which part of the story we are in. She is the one voice that matters as the rest of the world falls away.

We introduce the Wind Goddess epitomized by the red malong. Ripples of wind underneath it, til it jumps from the floor and slowly encircles me looks me ups and down, assesses the tresspasser before her.

The second movement she whips around in anger, snapping, swirling, dashing from one end to another.

Three. The physical struggle. the malong crumples and binds my hands, wraps tightly around my neck, or pulls my arms behind me.

Four. The slow struggle. Sondayo and the Wind Goddess understand each other now. I am now wrapped inside the malong. My hands attempt to escape but move slowly through it's entanglements. Cloth clings to everything.

Five. We become one in the same: me, Sondayo, the Wind Goddess. I am on my knees fully engulfed by the cloth. What do you do when the enemy becomes you? What do you do when you are the enemy you struggle against? Inside all i can see is the red pattern of the cloth. My hand reaches out on cue as Maiana's words instruct me to. There is a sense of both comfort and fear. I have seen babies carried in malongs sleeping soundly, yet claustrophobia also sets in. I do not hear my breath though it is now quite heavy. The wind, my breath are one.

Last. As Maiana slows to the last few words. I emerge from the cloth draped in it as though it were my cloak and skin. When the fighting ends, the cloth settles, Maiana utters, "home."

What I've been dreaming about the past few weeks

I felt the ridges of my face. Lines, deep, converging at the drop's tip of my eyes. streaks of bold white stripe my long black hair.

The cars are all mangled as if there was a derby. My own car is crushed and torn, i discover the bumper on the other side of the garage, the passenger's door still attached to the right front and rear tires, but nothing else. I fall to one knee, hold my head with one hand and cry.

I met someone's mother today. A matriarch of a woman who I'm sure has a cherubic charm, but now looks at me with inquisitive sterness. I break her gaze, look into my teacup and sip.

The ants march over my barefeet in aligned columns. They are red, sparkle in the light...my skin tingles as if falling asleep or perhaps as their bites penetrate...i do not know which. For some reason I am not afraid and simply watch them march up and over the arch of my foot and up my leg.

Only for the dream to end.

I am spent

And it's not because I was out and about Christmas shopping either. It's just one of those days where I can't keep up with even my own life. The weekend left me spent: emotionally, physically and spiritually. An up and down weekend of feeling bad and feeling good that has left me blah. Hopefully Tatang or Barbara will write about the kali/poetry collaboration with Maiana Minahal.

This is what the SO calls "hiding." That sometimes, it's good to just pull yourself out a bit, long enough to recharge and gain a bit perspective so that things aren't as sad or scary as one might think. Not too long, just long enough.

got posted to PhilMUG!

I was checking out the sites that have been referencing my blog. I guess it stems from one of those writer desires to know if someone is actually reading you. Anyway, one of the blogs last month got posted to PhilMUG (Philippine Macintosh Users Group). I've never been social enough to join a MUG, though my SO has, so I still don't know how I outscored him on the geek test. Actually, I just about outscored most folks I knew on that test. Though for sure some of my coworkers should be able to blow me away.

Users Groups are these grass roots clubs that pop up when a product gains a loyal yet relatively small following. These users must then ban together to help each other solve their computer problems because 1) there's either limited or no tech support or 2) there are no other users around who know what you're talking about. Mac folks have a bunch around the world, so do Linux folks.

There is a constantly rivalry between Mac and PC folks. And some of it is not Mac folks faults. Then again, I can get into a "they started it" kind of debate. It's interesting to see people's hostilities for what is in the end a plastic box. I have to admit, I've fallen into these battles as well.

When my cousin got a Mac, she found that there was a genderization of the computers. Her friends who berated her for getting a Mac would often say that it was "gay" or not for "guys" or that "real men don't use Macs." I find this rather strange. Maybe because Apple has pushed styling of machines, but so have PCs. And I don't remember when "using a Windows machine" got on the list of: learning how to fight, not crying, loving sports. I guess it must have replaced "tuning an engine."

My brother, who is a windows user, says that a real computer must make you suffer. He built his machine from scratch, rebuilt it at least a half a dozen times and spent months running back and forth to the computer store to find the parts that actually fit and work together. Such a glutton for punishment. Frankly, I don't have time. And I'm not that masochistic.

My cousin also got questions like, "why?" and "those machines suck" or "there aren't any games." And I wonder why they were giving her so much trouble over it. it's her computer. But maybe it's because said guys may have been trying to impress her with their computer knowledge and disliked the fact she bought a computer they did not know about. The unknown scares people.

I have to admit that Apple folks can be quite annoying when we talk about the next computer or product Apple comes out with, like watching the fall clothing line up come down the catwalk. Maybe windows users see that and ask themselves, how come they don't have conversations like that, how com their conversations are always about which patch they should download next to keep xyz bug from blowing it up. Maybe they should join a MUG.

Ok so I'm a heathen, what else is new?

Was reading the Watcher when I was referred to this article about the Vatican's reaction to "New Age" stuff including: karma, feng shui and yoga.

A few key quotes I particularly enjoyed:

If "prayer turns into just listening to music and falling asleep, then it's no longer prayer," - Monsignor Michael Fitzgerald

Well, duh? Who said New Age people think prayer is like that? Um...so when people listen to music and fall asleep in the church pews, that's not prayer? I just want to get it straight the next time I attend mass.

Correspondents say the report reflects the Vatican's growing concern about losing support among its one billion followers as New Age therapies ground

This article in the SF Chronicle about how more and more people are choosing to say they are "no religion." The Catholic Church has been losing ground for some time and I don't think it's just because people are going New Age. It may have to do with some of its policies on: women, contraception, homosexuality, etc.

"New Age is a misleading answer to the oldest hopes of man." - Cardinal Paul Poupard

Pot kettle black. As if Catholicism was ahem never misleading. Certainly there is a need in some way for people to connect to their spirituality whether or not it be in religion. I have found that the various different religions seem to mislead people when taken to far enough extremes.

Feng shui, the method of discerning positive and negative vibrations in houses, is described as an "occult" New Age practice that emphasises "being in tune with nature or the cosmos"

They make feng shui sound like it's that simple. For me feng shui is about examining habits and creating symbols in your life and arranging your life in a way that reminds you what you need to do and what is important in your life. It's a way to reflect on your life and how you want to create it. Has the cross not been a guiding symbol in a person's life? So, when farmer's were in tune with nature, that was New Age, as opposed to a practiced observation.

Our correspondent says that the report makes clear that the Vatican basically dislikes fuzzy spirituality.

The Vatican is afraid. It's afraid that no one will believe in what they believe in anymore. That they will no longer hold sway as knowing the path to god. This fear will kill the church. Maybe they should take a sheet from the way Filipinos incorporated Christianity. Filipinos don't practice Catholicism like other people. They kept their pagan celebrations to other deities by replacing them with the more acceptable saints. Or the way the "El Shaddai" is technically "Catholic" but holds mass outside churches. They pray more often to Mary than Jesus. If the Vatican continues on the road of "them...they are not like US!" instead of "them...oh see...we are just like them...we just word it differently" Roman Catholicism will soon be the architects of their own demise.

I myself am Catholic. But I don't think I'd be Catholic if I didn't practice Catholicism in the Filipino way. Speaking of which, I need to hang my parol.

What kinky toy are you?

I would post my results from the "What kinky toy are you?" but then I thought it better not too; how unbecoming of me! Unless of course the Wily Filipino whips it out of me....I'll never tell.

Dog Recipes

Was watching "Hollywood Squares" the other night with Martin Mull in the center square. The question, "What is a combination of rott weiler, terrier, grey hound and a Weimaraner?" He joking answered, "the recipe for a Philippine meatloaf."

It didn't quite get the grand guffaw he was hoping for. I turned off the tv. Maybe I should send Marin Mull a plate of lumpia with the special Philippine meatloaf he refers to.

It comes back now and then the jokes about how Filipinos (or just about any south east asian country) eat dogs. I even read an article once at how there was a need for countries to disassociate themselves with the idea that their people ever ate dog so that they can play in the great economic market and be a significant player. Apparently world economic power is dictated by whether or not your population eat dog. Because if you can afford it, you can buy cow or pig, some of the top waste product producing food animals there are.

Have I eaten dog? Yes, I've eaten dog. Watched as a young boy carried a newly charred carcass on his back to the next party.

I guess what throws most people for a loop is how can they be your friend and still eat them. Let's get this straight. We don't eat dogs we know or own that's just barbaric! The dogs we keep are our guardians and eat every imagineable food scrap available which reduces the amount of garbage.

The dogs in the Philippines look like Filipinos in a way, the mix of any dog you can imagine. They kind of look like dingos. For most of the dogs, no one owns them, they're street dogs. They're everywhere. There is no SPCA in the Philippines big enough to solve that problem.

Here, any dog, not found to be owned by anyone gets impounded, then killed. But Americans don't see that. They don't see how many millions of strays are killed each year. And where do those bodies go? I don't know?

I have a coworker who is a very picky eater. She doesn't like to see the eyes of fish, or the feet of chicken. If she eats it, it better be ground up to indiscernible existence. People feel guilty when they see the face of the creature they're eating. They'd rather have this cold disconnection with their food that this is packaged and processed and sterilized to not really be food anymore.

I think we have to regain a greater understanding and connection to the food we are eating. The the animal that is killed, to the growers who raise them, to the truckers that bring them to the properly chilled supermarket. We are part of this cycle. And when you can't acknowledge your roll in it, how can you possibly understand what the meatrix really is? If we really understood and accepted how we are part of the cycle, wouldn't we be more concerned at what goes into the cycle (anti-biotics, etc) rather than complain at how the price of beef is going up?

If dogs weren't pets but forest animals like raccoon and opossum, would we care so much? But maybe coon pie and roadkill stew are part of an archaic age too, when we knew how we were part of this food cycle and not in some processed and packaged imaginary world.

Everyone's moving

Barbara Jane's changed her wardrobe, actually made it suit her style much better. Which proves she's got something to say, afterall.

I have to agree the new blogger template designs are not that great. I don't dare change the template to lose the lovely big bold block colors to get something more drab. The first thing I did when I moved into my new place was to paint the walls big bold colors. Had a bright orange square on my wall for months before I decide on the color.

What's a stylish blogger to do?

21 Mindanao bombings claim 80 lives, injure 345 under GMA watch;
86,686 victims of human rights violations

Received from a friend. Information that doesn't really make it on the Filipino Channel:

Press Release
December 10, 2003

21 Mindanao bombings claim 80 lives, injure 345 under GMA watch; 86,686 victims of human rights violations

The Initiatives for Peace in Mindanao (InPeace Mindanao) today said they have tallied a total of 21 ?mysterious? bombings that have claimed 80 lives and injured 345 others in Mindanao, and counted some 85,000 victims of human rights violations perpetrated by State authorities under the Gloria Macapagal Arroyo administration.

Atty. Beverly Selim-Musni, InPeace Mindanao convenor and member of the Mindanao Truth Commission which conducted a series of independent fact finding missions across Mindanao cities, said the human rights situation in the island is ?grievously alarming? and
that ?accusations of state-sponsored terrorism need to be seriously investigated by Congress and international human rights bodies with these staggering statistics.?

The 21 bombings tallied were those which occurred at the Davao International Airport and Sasa seaport, the blasts in General Santos, Koronadal, Maguindanao, Cotabato, Kidapawan, and other municipalities in Mindanao. Of the 80 killed, about 40 of these were victims of the Davao blasts which also injured hundreds.

InPeace Mindanao has considered these bombings mysterious? because the masterminds are yet to be ascertained. Following the expose of a group of young military officers, resigned defense secretary Angelo Reyes and Brig. Gen. Victor Corpuz have been tagged as alleged masterminds of the Davao bombings.

?Many groups are looking into the possibility that the state has a hand in these bombings,? Musni said. She said many of the 85,000 victims of human rights violations were due to forced evacuations in North Cotabato as a result of the all-out war against the Buliok Complex in February this year. The number of victims does not include the more than
400,000 evacuees from Central Mindanao whose documentation InPeace Mindanao is yet to receive. The group is also yet t o receive documentation on human rights violations in
Jolo, Tawi-tawi, and Basilan.

A total of 21,686 individuals were victims of massacres (59), summary execution (39), physical assault (89), harassment (5,495), food blockade (8,721), illegal arrest and detention (67), forced disappearances (24), forced evacuations in non-Moro areas (5,287),
frustrated murder, illegal searches, rape, denial of medical attention, denial of decent
burial, and destruction of properties.

Atty. Concepcion Brezuela of InPeace-Central Mindanao Region said data from the Integrated Mindanao Association for Natives based in North Cotabato counted some 2,966 families still living in evacuation camps in Pagalungan and Pagagawan towns, Cotabato province.

All human rights cases tallied cover the period January 2001 up to December 6,2003 or the time since Pres. Arroyo assumed the presidency until this week, shortly before the world commemorates the 55th anniversary of the signing of the United Nations Declaration on Human Rights.

InPeace noted that these statistics are partial as they have yet to tally cases coming from Central Mindanao and other Moro regions. It also noted that human rights cases from the Caraga region are incomplete because the office of the human rights group Karapatan in the region lost all files last year when it was ransacked by elements believed to be military agents.

?If we are able to retrieve all these other documentation, the statistics would actually be higher,? Musni said.

The human rights tally which was conducted during a two-day fact finding session in Butuan City last December 6-7 came from various non-government sources including justice and peace desks of Christian churches, Moro organizations, and human group Karapatan. The TruthCom also received the human rights reports of some regional offices of the Commission on Human Rights. Musni said the identified perpetrators of these human rights violations are led by various units of the Armed Forces of the Philippines, the MilitaryIntelligence Group (MIG), Criminal Investigation and Detection Group (CIDG), Internal Security Unit (ISU), paramilitary CAFGUs, other military intelligence agents, and police authorities.

InPeace Mindanao noted that human rights groups in Mindanao have expressed alarm over increasing harassments perpetrated by the military against people?s organizations, including those in urban areas.

Musni said that there is concern towards state-sponsored urban terrorism? as judicial processes are being circumvented by police and military authorities and vigilante groups. Examples of these units and groups, she said, are Task Force Davao and other composite
task forces in various cities in Mindanao, the Davao Death Squad, the Alamara and other Lumad vigilante groups allegedly armed by the military. She said legitimate people?s organizations are being placed under surveillance and have complained of being harassed by armed men believed to be intelligence agents.

InPeace Mindanao said they are concerned over human rights violations directed against church people, noting that outspoken church leaders and religious are being harassed and witch-hunted. It cited the case of Italian priest Fr. Fausto Tentorio of the Diocese of Kidapawan who was hunted down by Lumad CAFGUs while visiting a mission area in Arakan Valley, North Cotabato. It also cited the case of Sr. Mary John Dumaug, a good shepherd nun, whose literacy and health programs in San Luis, Agusan del Sur have
earned the ire of the military who are have alleged that Dumaug?s projects siphon finances from the European Union to benefit the New People?s Army.

?Under the Arroyo watch, we have witnessed a dramatic increase in human rights violations. It is also under this government when a pattern of bombings has become very visible and felt in Mindanao,? Musni said.

The Mindanao Truth Commission is yet to come up with its preliminary Findings and analysis on the bombings and the trend in human rights violations. A series of fact finding missions have already been conducted in General Santos, Butuan, Cotabato, Cagayan de Oro, and Davao.

Musni said the group is also going to undertake a quantification of
indemnification due for these human rights victims.

For reference:

ATTY. BEVERLY SELIM-MUSNI
Convenor/ 09209235800

goodbye, Corpse, the hawk arrives now

Eileen emerges from her chrysalis to reveal her lovely lovely wings.

entering the door

Teaching is a very interesting thing. I sit in a room and I wait to see who enters the door of my class. They tell me what I should teach. Today, a fellow entered, J. Filipino, older, thinning hair. He is hard of hearing, knows American Sign Language, reads lips a bit.

I set the class to do a drill and find piece of paper and pen. We write out our conversation as fast as we can scrawl. He asks about kali, had seen a demonstration. One of my other students known just a bit of American Sign Language. He knows one of her students. There is a connection.

He wants to join the class. I was told by my teacher that each person who comes into my class brings a lesson and/or a gift. I cannot refuse. He has an advantage in one sense, he knows how to watch and observe. As I go in between teaching him and teaching the rest of the class I understand how much of my communication relies on sound. Even though when I remember learning it was more about watching and feeling. How I really didn't listen to my teacher, I watched then followed.

I've agreed to teach him in exchange for learning American Sign Language. Sometimes gaining a student isn't about what I teach them, it's about what they can teach me.